The time speeds ever closer for the day
when I qualify with a degree, something that is deemed so important for our
success in this society. I find myself wondering where will go? So much to
think about, of course I will always have a home in my mother’s house but is
that really what I want? I dream of this place you see a small little place
somewhere where I can catch the bus to work because I hate driving so much.
Recently when I ever so delicately explained to my parents that I was thinking
about moving out if I found a job far out of the city we live in. I was asked a
rather absurd question, “Why do you want to get married? Is that why you want
to move out?” I wonder how much we as people have truly evolved if this is the
first thing that comes to mind when the aspect of independence is sought out. I
have no partner in my life and just find the idea of living alone so exciting
that I sometimes daydream about it. I guess we are all different and one
person’s dream is another’s demise but I still fear our development as women
when little steps forward are always seen in the light of marriage.
In comparison I have a few male cousins who
live alone and have been complimented for their ability to look after
themselves. When a female stays alone it becomes a touchy subject as if she
could not find a partner to be with and this is the outcome. I know how
dangerous it could be as woman living on my own, the world is full of terrible
stories most of which are on this very site of rape and abuse but I wonder if
governing my every decision by fear would be the solution. I hope that as women
we realise that we are not shaming our families or dishonouring them in any way
when we chose to live on our own, it is a cruel world no doubt but it is also a
beautiful world one that should be enjoyed, in the way that we as women see
fit. We should not feel embarrassed when buying take out for one or arriving at
events without a partner. That desperate need for a partner that some women
have becomes a weakness that will easily be taken advantage of by the wrong
person. I know that in some countries it is probably unheard of for women to
live on her own and I pray for women that are robbed of their freedom in such
places but here in South Africa we have the ability to be whoever we want to be
and yet people do not appreciate or utilize this freedom that is taken for
granted.
I know that living alone is not the idea of
the perfect scenario for some people but my purpose of speaking of this is
twofold in that I hope that women understand how easy it becomes to become
corrupted by the society we live in and not do simple things that would make us
happy. A step towards understanding your inner women may be different to us all
but what I want is for you to only identify that to understand who she is and
what she wants from this life. Don’t hold back you are speaking to yourself
after all…And trust me you will be surprised with what is really important to
her. For me she has grown tenderly in my heart, nourished with the fact that I
am generally an introvert that prefers having my own space. Something small
like living on my own would make me happy and yet if I am to let those around
me dictate my life it would never come to pass. Don’t throw away all the small
things that make you happy for fear of being judged by the people around you.
These are our lives and what are our lives if not for all the small trinkets of
happiness that we are blessed with.
Have a wonderful day delta women
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