The time speeds ever closer for the day when I qualify with a degree, something that is deemed so important for our success in this society. I find myself wondering where will go? So much to think about, of course I will always have a home in my mother’s house but is that really what I want? I dream of this place you see a small little place somewhere where I can catch the bus to work because I hate driving so much. Recently when I ever so delicately explained to my parents that I was thinking about moving out if I found a job far out of the city we live in. I was asked a rather absurd question, “Why do you want to get married? Is that why you want to move out?” I wonder how much we as people have truly evolved if this is the first thing that comes to mind when the aspect of independence is sought out. I have no partner in my life and just find the idea of living alone so exciting that I sometimes daydream about it. I guess we are all different and one person’s dream is another’s demise but I still fear our development as women when little steps forward are always seen in the light of marriage.
In comparison I have a few male cousins who live alone and have been complimented for their ability to look after themselves. When a female stays alone it becomes a touchy subject as if she could not find a partner to be with and this is the outcome. I know how dangerous it could be as woman living on my own, the world is full of terrible stories most of which are on this very site of rape and abuse but I wonder if governing my every decision by fear would be the solution. I hope that as women we realise that we are not shaming our families or dishonouring them in any way when we chose to live on our own, it is a cruel world no doubt but it is also a beautiful world one that should be enjoyed, in the way that we as women see fit. We should not feel embarrassed when buying take out for one or arriving at events without a partner. That desperate need for a partner that some women have becomes a weakness that will easily be taken advantage of by the wrong person. I know that in some countries it is probably unheard of for women to live on her own and I pray for women that are robbed of their freedom in such places but here in South Africa we have the ability to be whoever we want to be and yet people do not appreciate or utilize this freedom that is taken for granted.
I know that living alone is not the idea of the perfect scenario for some people but my purpose of speaking of this is twofold in that I hope that women understand how easy it becomes to become corrupted by the society we live in and not do simple things that would make us happy. A step towards understanding your inner women may be different to us all but what I want is for you to only identify that to understand who she is and what she wants from this life. Don’t hold back you are speaking to yourself after all…And trust me you will be surprised with what is really important to her. For me she has grown tenderly in my heart, nourished with the fact that I am generally an introvert that prefers having my own space. Something small like living on my own would make me happy and yet if I am to let those around me dictate my life it would never come to pass. Don’t throw away all the small things that make you happy for fear of being judged by the people around you. These are our lives and what are our lives if not for all the small trinkets of happiness that we are blessed with.
Have a wonderful day delta women