Sunday, 22 January 2012

Breeding Crisis on the Homefront

Where do problems that breed crisis in the home come from?

It is no secret that a dysfunctional home leads to a dysfunctional mind. And, a dysfunctional minds create dysfunctional societies.

Some problems come from our husbands, who may be sometimes uncaring, unappreciative, unfaithful, resentful, spend long nights and even days away from home without explanation or apology, fault-finding, spend thrifts outside but stingy at home, and the like.

Actually, there are many attitudes from our husbands which may create real problems for us and steal our joy if we do not know how to handle them.

That aside, there are problems from our children and grand children who we thought to be good but suddenly discover they are becoming rude, violent, disobedient, wayward, and the like.

You may not even be able to place some as they pretend to be good at home but have a bad record in the school or society.

Some have joined bad gangs; have become drug and alcohol addicts, chain smokers, and the like. Some others may be failing their exams and doing poorly academically.

It could also be health issues facing the children or husband and even you. It could be unemployment, inadequate finances, a hectic job, barrenness, still single at 40 years old and more.

To some women, their problem is their in-laws. They cannot stand each other, particularly people from their husband’s family. Its either your mother-in-law is a “witch” or your sister-in-law is a “devil” who wants to scatter your home.

Or maybe your little sister ended up with a very wicked husband who beats the hell out of her every day. The problems women face is endless.

All these and more can make a woman very miserable. Ironically, money, position or opportunities will not bring joy to your heart. The secret to overcoming all these is to get rid of wrong attitudes, approaches and reactions. The numberless problems that want to crush life out of us as married or single ladies have been handled wrongly by many of us.

When issues are handled wrongly, it makes the situation worse. Nagging in the home will only make your home unbearable. Keeping records of wrong doings only makes you a bitter person.

Calling your children names because of their short-comings will only make them rebellious and worse. Stop that “pity party” and seek advice from professionals on how to handle these problems.

Ask your mother or father for help. If you believe in God, go to Him in prayers. Talk to your religious leader. Go to counselling units. Get up and do something about the situation before it does something to you!

By Jummai Peter-Azeez


  1. Well written, Jummai. What do you think of the role of self-help? Do you think it could help cope with crises?

  2. Communication and patience are two key ingredients in any successful and long lasting relationship. It is important there is also reasoning, reasoning given to sensitive and personal issues which when highlighted  or recklessly talked about can bring great psychological and mental damage. A very well written article. Kudos!

  3. Laura Peter-Azeez23 January 2012 at 13:23

    Thanks guys! @Nomad, self-help is a welcome step to take using support groups such as DeltaWomen, and also positive (often religious) beliefs.

    @Peter, I totally agree with you. Patience breeds reasoning.