On Sunday April 27th I went to see a fantastic rendition of Eve
Ensler’s The Vagina Monologues here in Busan, Korea. I decided to ask
one of the participants about her role in the show. She has chosen to stay
anonymous because of some backlash she might face about her sexual orientation.
She asked to be called ‘Ryn’ (cute, right).
1) First things first, why the Vagina Monologues?
I chose to do the Vagina Monologues because I
really believe in the cause. The whole V-Day campaign focuses on globally
ending violence against women. I have been so fortunate in my life to have the
support network that I do, and I want to make sure that I do everything I can
to make sure other women have that network.
2) What was your favorite thing about doing the show?
My favorite thing about the show was the
rehearsals. Everyone would roll in and we would have just sharing moments or
snuggle moments or just time to get to know one another. The community of women
involved in the show is truly phenomenal.
3) You managed to raise a good chunk of money for a few charities. What can you tell me about the
women's shelters?
One of the shelters is for women and children
who have escaped domestic violence. I have found that, oftentimes, Korea
tolerates domestic violence much more than in the west, at least in my
hometown. There are no times in which beating your partner or child is
acceptable. And so, I wish to raise money for women and children to help them free
themselves that lifestyle.
The other shelter is for women who have
exited the sex trade. So many women are propositioned to work as “factory
women” or “seamstresses,” etc, but instead are sold into sex slavery. This
shelter provides a safe space in which these women can heal, learn, and
reintegrate into society.
4) What's your take on “One Billion Rising”?
I think that it absolutely breaks my heart
that over 1 billion women on this planet have suffered. Personally, I really
struggle with the idea of rising individually. I question how much impact my
solo voice has. I stand on my soap box advocating women’s rights, gender
equity, and human dignity, But,really, I am not doing anything but shouting. I
think 1 Billion Rising gives me an outlet—a place to do something. And,
I am always down for a dance party.
5) Why did you choose “The Flood”?
I didn’t choose it, actually. The director chose it for me. I did have some
specific monologues I did not want to do because they hit a bit too closely to
home, and I think I would have had a difficult time separating “Ryn” from my
character.
I had problems developing my character for The Flood. The basic
premise of my monologue is an old woman who is very nervous to talk about her
"down theres." She likens it to a cellar, and struggles to see the
beauty of the vagina. She also discusses her first kiss that caught her off
guard, and "there was a flood--down there." The boy who kissed her
was not impressed and made fun of her, which led to "the idea of flooding [making
her] too nervous, [so she] never even got close again." This part of the
monologue broke my heart. It isn't forceful sexual violence or abuse, but offhanded
and emotional. A boy made a young girl feel embarrassed about something natural
and uncontrollable (and, frankly, awesome). It made her self-conscious and
unable to have a happy, healthy sexual identity.
As a woman who has an open and fluid sexual identity, I forget that there
are so many women who do not have that luxury. So many women of my mother's,
grandmother's generation never had the opportunity to become sexual beings--as
opposed to the societally appropriate child-bearing vessels. It is our
responsibility as educated and/or progressive women to reclaim our sexuality and
make it something we want it to be, rather than something someone else expects.
6) Korea can be extremely anti-homosexual at times. What has your
experience as a lesbian been like?
My experience as a lesbian in the ex-patriot
community is pretty rad. I don’t ever hide that part of me, and I have found
that the ex-pat community is much more open-minded about sexuality. They may
not agree with it, but they also are not holding onto the last straw of hope
that I will fall in love with a man.
In the Korean community, it is so much more
difficult. It isn’t even recognized. There are so many men and women who are
closeted for fear of never getting a job, disownment from their families, etc.
What is more interesting is the lesbian
culture within Koreans. Personally, I hate the terms “butch” and “femme,” so I
will use “Pants” and “Pumps” instead, okay? Within the Korean lesbian
community, generally you can only be Pants or only be Pumps. Pants very often
will only date Pumps. They try so hard to still fit into the male/female stigma
of this country. One partner very clearly being the “man” in the relationship,
one clearly being the “woman.” There is no room for the versatility we
have in the western culture. Of course, the west definitely has a Pants and
Pumps dichotomy, however, there is a lot more flexibility. Personally, I am in
the middle. There are many days when I rock converse, skinnys, button down, and
a lady vest, but I also love wearing dresses and skirts and scarves. When I was
talking to a Korean lesbian about this, she was astounded that I would even
consider wearing both types of clothing. I explained that in the States, we do
not have to pretend to be one man and one woman for society to be okay with us.
Sometimes, society isn’t okay with us as two women, but that isn’t something
for which I am willing to change myself.
7) Any extra fun stories from when you ladies were preparing for the show?
There was one Sunday when EVERYONE but me was
a bit fragile from the previous night. We had a plan to do a run through and
small group practices, but it just ended up turning into a giant
cuddlefest/chat session. This really brought us together and cemented some
pretty stellar friendships.
8) The most
powerful performance for me was about the Korean comfort women. What can you
say about that piece?
You mean, I didn't knock your socks off, Matt? What a shame.
I can say a lot of things about this piece. I know that men have been using
rape as a tactic of war for hundreds of thousands of years. We don't learn
about that in history class, or if we do, it is introduced glossed over as,
"Oh, this happened" and we move onto the "real" parts of
war. However, this monologue brings to light the repercussions of using women
for sexual needs. It discusses the living conditions, desire for death, and
necessity for recognition. I was able to keep my emotions in check when the
actors said horrific things like, "Sometimes they didn't even take off
their clothes...just took out their penis" or "do it even when we
bleed" or "Things we could not do...keep my baby." What I could
not handle was the last minutes of the performance when the women, in unison,
shout, "Say it...Sorry...outside the Japanese embassy every
Wednesday...Say it...To me...Sorry...To me...Sorry".
In discussing the monologue with the
performers, one of the women said that Korea's culture is so much a communal
culture that the Comfort Women were everyone's mother, every one's grandmother.
And, so it touches on a part of their history that is still so raw and
bleeding. Every time I watched that piece, I felt like an intruder looking in
on a piece of history that was so private and holy--something I would never
understand.
9) What's your favorite color?
My favorite color is cerulean. It is the only
crayon I refuse to lend out. I have only seen in once in real live nature, and
it blew my mind.
10) How do you think the Vagina Monologues has
helped female sexual liberty/ sexuality?
I think that the Vagina Monologues brings
awareness to necessary discussions about vaginas. It is very true that many
women get squicky talking about their vaginas, as if we are ashamed of them. It
also sparks a lot of conversations between partners about their sexual organs.
I think that showing over 300 men and women in our community that Vaginas are
not scary and that we need to love and respect them is important. Vagina
Monologues also highlights the importance of rising against sexual slavery.
11）If you could only listen to one of the
monologues for the rest of your life, which one would you choose?
CUNT!!! I think that it is a brilliant deconstruction
of a very pejorative word. I think that words for Vagina (pussy, twat, etc)
should never be used to bully. Equally, I think that dick should be taken out
of the vernacular as a pejorative, but then again, I would have to completely
modify my own vocabulary. I do love a good dick joke.
12) Famous last words?
I refuse to stand by and watch as billions of
women suffer violence because of their gender. Strike. Dance. Rise.
By Matthew Ariss
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