How do Single mothers survive?

By Aastha Kapoor

Wonder why a lot of women suffering from domestic violence continue to stay in bad relationships? Wonder why they don’t move away for a life of peace and tranquillity? Because they are worried; sometimes about themselves but mostly about their kids. How will a single mother be able to bring up her children all by herself, who will fend for their needs and all those looks by the neighbouring aunt – how will she persuade them why she did what she did. And hence she decides to let the danger sword linger over her head for as long as forever till she has accepted her sufferings as her fate. The End of story. Poignant end. There are very few who think through and question themselves on what better upbringing are they being able to give to their kid when all he sees is his father slapping or hitting his at frivolous excuses-what impact does this violent imagery have on his psychology -What ideas of love, compassion or mutual understanding will he understand from his ethics class when he sees a completely different picture altogether at home.

 Before getting despondent, hear a little good news. The picture is not same everywhere. There are some neon colourful strokes on the otherwise plain painting. There are all sorts of examples from women who are trying to move atop their sorry state of affairs. Single mothers, some by choice like Sushmita Sen who never married but adopted two daughters , some who  divorced  their alcoholic husbands and others who  accidently lost their love-no matter what the circumstances, the one thread that binds all these women is that they have proved to be brave and faced all ordeals with courage. At some time they have been looked at by leering eyes with raised eyebrows and whispering taunts. Yet these are the same women who moved ahead and chose a life of dignity for themselves and their kids. Sandra Bullock, Kate Winslet and Denise Richards are the more popular examples; there are countless others who have found a way out. There is Lalita Booth whose love for her child took her from a state of homelessness to a double degree at Harvard University [1] and her story in her own words is a testimony that ordinary women can do ordinary things extraordinarily if they believe to set themselves free[2]. There are other women I have personally known who took up sewing or teaching or went back to education to survive in this world. These moms did not look for any excuses, they resolved to look ahead. Single moms are my heroes, my role models and no amount of respect and admiration can do full justice to them.

Their lives are nothing but lessons.

[1] http://www.tampabay.com/opinion/columns/once-a-homeless-quotwild-childquot-single-mother-lalita-booth-is-well-on/1019391

[2] http://www.lalitabooth.com/?q=node/76