It hurts that we are somewhat satisfied being the symbol of weakness, uneducated decisions and inepititude. Offcourse, it's nice for someone else to take the whole blame, i mean yeah! we can blame the world for defining but then who is to blame for accepting, who is the blame for letting them? We can blame every other person all we want but at the end we played a huge part in getting to where we are right now.
This war we are fighting is not just a physical one but mostly mental. Our mental state. The world and this context, especially African women have agreed to the society's idea of who and what a woman is in some way. I mean yes we can go out and claim that we are feminist because we have the kids and the job or because we let our hair grow natural and so on. The real question is where are the female inventors and ground breaking scientists coming up with cures being role models to the little, anxious girl in secondary school who is most excited when she is in chemistry class or that get inspired just by looking up at the sky, but nooo we can't stay too long in school studying those kind of courses cause then who is going to be left to marry us, while, those that dare to take up this courses then move on to be frustrated by the same society that is supposed to be embracing them.
Let me tell you were a lot of us are failing. I often hear guys say "I'm looking for a reserved girl, or oh! she stays with her folks she's definitely the marriageble type a good girl". They sure didn't come up with that on their own. So where are the mothers, aunties teaching what really to look for in a lady, not naive, gullible, submissive and obedience, which mum will not freak out when they see their son come in with a lady that has a strong opinion of what she wants her home to look like. Do you know that men are attracted to omen like their mothers. Granted our moms and their moms before that did not teach them any better. So we have refused to teach our kids to dream , dream beyond society limitations. We have let the word feminist to even exist and noe become irky in conversations. Well at least we get to go school around here right? Still it won't hurt to move forward and allow these girls use them to build skyscrappers and walk through the glass doors of their companies instead of just having a flashy marriage resume.
We need people and i don't mean 5 or 10 amoungst millions though that's a start to pave the way for those budding girls, those that have have tuned out the world telling them they've got "big eyes" or how impossible their dreams are and question them at every turn. They want it and they are willing to do the work for it. They are wondering if they'll need to sleep with everyone who they give a proposal to or if they must take on a male business partner before they can be taken seriously. All they need is a chance to prove themselves.
Yes,there is a movement though not as loud as it needs to be, or fast because most of us are too ashamed to stand with this cause which is our birth right, and yes we now have songs, books, papers, calling us out to this remarkable awakening but still they are still those of those tht are letting people use the word "feminist" as an inside joke for women that are either are sucessful and strong that it intimidates or threaten their egos or for those ladies that are either unattractive or unmarried. We will keep sharing the joke until our daughters can't even say the word "feminist" because then it has become a curse word.
We need to fight it little by little but everyday, it could be as small as giving a thumbs up! and a sacarstic smile to that lady that says "you drive like a lady" or do something like a lady to tell them we are glad we are the best at whatever we do. When you here someone explain with "oh it's cause she's a woman" nicely say "Your mom is a woman".
Finally, i would like to say amounggst every division that humans have found to fight about in the world Race, religion, countries when it comes to gender we are not struggling for supremacy, we are just asking for Equality. How hard is that?
By George Agba