Once a girl, Always a girl

Virginity test is a traditional yet very controversial practice in many countries. It is considered degrading and a violation of human rights by Amnesty International and although it is illegal in many countries, It is still done in African countries as an excuse to prevent AIDS but it's mainly to examine if a girl is still a virgin.

In Iran where Virginity is still a cultural issue right beside Unemployment, inflation and political issues, young women try a risky surgery to regain "Respect" from people who still believe that a woman's grace lies beneath her virginity.

This 30-minute outpatient procedure, called "hymenoplasty" and costing between 1,500 and 3,000 euros ($2,000-$4,000), is increasingly popular among young women of North African descent in France.

Premarital sex among young men is no longer seen as quite out of bounds  in Iran. It is even a trend that gains applause from the Iranian men. Yet for a woman planning to marry, the tradition that she must be a virgin is still upheld.

"A girl's decency is defined on the basis of virginity". A student of mine says in the English class. most of the young classmates agree and the rest of the girls blush. This mixed beliefs always distracts me and I dismiss the class. Why do we have to continue being the victim of others inhumanity.

As a free young woman in this world, I still can't figure out why we should respect the people who don't respect a woman's choice in life. In Iran, there are uncountable stories of girls losing their lives or going behind the bars just because they chose the natural path of sexual freedom and I'm sure the story doesn't finish right here unless we, men and women who want nothing but a better, more free and peaceful world, chance the way we look at things.
The new years resolution: why not giving ourselves a minute and think why we judge people by their sexual choices?

Aren't we born free? Don't we die free? Then, Why can't we live free?

Never judge a girl by her clothes or her lifestyle.

Once a girl, always a girl.

By Elaheh Zohrevandi

Deltawomen Honors Volunteers with PRESIDENT’S VOLUNTEER SERVICE AWARD

For Immediate Release                                                           Contact:  Elsie Ijorogu-Reed

06/22/2012                                                                             

Deltawomen Honors Volunteers with

President’s Volunteer Service Award

 Award is a Prestigious National Honor for Volunteer Service

Houston, Texas– Deltawomen today announced it has awarded 5 volunteers with the President’s Volunteer Service Award, a national honor offered in recognition of volunteer service.

Established in 2003, the Award is available on an annual basis to individuals, groups and families who have met or exceeded requirements for volunteer service and have demonstrated exemplary citizenship through volunteering.  As one of thousands of Certifying Organizations participating in the Award program, Deltawomen confers the award to recognize the outstanding achievements of its volunteers, and today honors the following volunteers:

• Dr. Kalra (Bronze)
• Elaheh Zohrevandi (Bronze, Silver, Gold)
• Kirthi Jayakumar (Bronze, Silver, Gold)
• Simisola Ogun (Bronze, Silver)
• Lylin Aguas (Bronze)

Deltawomen has a long history of volunteer service, and more than 140 volunteers perform community service each year on behalf of the organization.

“In his 2002 State of the Union Address, President George W. Bush created the USA Freedom Corps, and called on every American to make a lifelong commitment to volunteer service.  The President’s Volunteer Service Award recognizes individuals and families who have answered that call,” said Elsie Ijorogu-Reed of Deltawomen. 

“America’s volunteers work to make our communities stronger and safer. As a Certifying Organization for the Award program, Deltawomen is proud to be aligned with this prestigious volunteer award, and we are especially proud of our volunteers who have made volunteer service a central part of their lives.”

The President’s Volunteer Service Award is an award for volunteer service that every American – from every age and every walk of life – can aspire to achieve.  To be eligible to receive the Award, individuals, families and groups submit a record of their annual volunteer service hours to participating Certifying Organizations, such as Deltawomen, that will verify the service and deliver the Award. Award eligibility for individuals and groups is based on hour requirements varying by age. 

“These recipients of the President’s Volunteer Service Award are role models for all Americans and people all over the world,” Elsie Ijorogu-Reed said.  “Each volunteer hour contributed makes a difference in improving the quality of life for others, and I encourage everyone to contribute to our community by volunteering.  Volunteers bring us closer together as families, as communities and as a Nation, through their commitment.”

The Award is issued by the President’s Council on Service and Civic Participation, a group created by President Bush to recognize the valuable contributions volunteers are making to our Nation.  Chaired by two-time Super Bowl Champion Darrell Green, with former U.S. Senators Bob Dole and John Glenn as honorary co-chairs, the Council comprises leaders in government, media, entertainment, business, education, nonprofits and volunteer service organizations, and community volunteering.

For more information about volunteering for Deltawomen send an email to ereed@deltawomen.org

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The Invisible Army

As the world marked the International Day for Street Children last week, children in street situations served as a reminder of how one of the most marginalized groups in the world continues to be deprived of its basic rights, failed by governments, institutions and societies.

“No one treats us like human beings. They are always trying to punch and kick us,” says 11-year-old Soheil who ended up on Tehran's streets when he was eight to escape beatings of his mother. His friend, 13-year-old Jafar, loads bananas onto trucks in a fruit market. On a good day he makes about $2 for an entire day’s hard work. “One night when I was sleeping at the railway station, a person approached me. He said come with me, I said no I can’t go with you because I don’t know you. He hit me on my face.”

If you drive in Tehran, you probably get stuck in traffic too many times you won't miss the experience of having a conversation with street children.
"Buy your horoscope of the day. It's real, I swear." Hafiza, an Afghan girl living in Tehran says through the open window of my car.
"Take this 2 bucks and eat something." I tell her.
"Take all my horoscope packs, I can't go home not selling all of these." She sounds really honest. But I know somewhere deep down that her boss -downtown street children organizer- is waiting to take all her money so I just give her my bag of crisps and drive pass her.
This is the best you can see in a crowded capital like Tehran.
In Moscow and London, the story is more or less the same or even worse in some cases. I can't forget bumping into a street girl in a freezing night in Moscow's underground. The girl was roughly 16 years old and I gave her some spare cash I had with me. She begged me to buy her a specific brand of pills from the drugstore and when I asked why, she replied with a cracked voice. "I am a street worker and have just had a miscarriage, I need to stop the bleeding but the guy in the drugstore wouldn't sell me.

More stories of personal  experience with street children and labor children are better left unsaid as they need a separate post. On the International Day for Street Children, 12 April, we need to challenge these misconceptions. The factors that drive children to the streets are similar. Once on the streets, these children adopt many tactics necessary to survive such as begging, loitering and rough sleeping. Sadly, in many countries heavy-handed treatment by the authorities – such as violence and roundups – is all too common.

Being a street child is not a crime. Today we want people to stand up for the rights of street children all over the world.

By Elaheh Zohrevandi

Seattle's Street Kid

You may pass the streets of Seattle thinking everything is glamorous and lovely.
The weather is cool, cloudy and rainy most of the time and people are so well-dressed and the shops are so many that you think nothing can crash this image. Take a look at Denny Street in downtown and everything falls down.

America has this perfect look when you see it on TV or on the big screen. It has
this perfect reputation when it comes to democracy. It look really strong when
it comes to human rights but what about Street Children, the girls and boys who
live on the streets, drink your 7UP and ask for you secondhand gum on your way
to the Argosy Cruise downtown?
America was a cool place last week but now it's just a "washed up"!

I am a regular traveller and I barely overlook the very small things. I have seen people who literally live on the streets of India and Iran and I happen to work for an organization that supports labor/street children. It's not an exaggeration to say that living on the streets of Seattle is as miserable as Tehran and Mumbai. It's even easier to be on the streets of Tehran and still be treated like a human being rather than being an American citizen and still invisible to the eyes of the high-class shopaholics of Seattle.

According to TIME Magazine, 1 in 50 children in America is homeless but what about the children who are born on the streets and grow up on the streets and raise their own kids on the streets? These kids don't have an ID so they don't count. But when you are lost in downtown of Seattle and the only living things around are the street ids you have to count them in and ask for directions. You have to see them, listen to them and shake hands their shaky hands.

It's dangerous, not being one of them and still hover around acting like a tourist. You have to feel like a second-hand gum, an opened can of soda to be close to how Street children of Seattle feel.


By Elaheh Zohrevandi

Put Your Blame On Me

I regularly teach at an NGO called Kousha Children Organization in Baharestan located in a very poor area of Tehran and I can never close my eyes on the things I see on the way. I see beggars, addicts and even the children who live on the street.

Street children are homeless children who live on the street in particular, those that are not taken care of by parents or other adults. Street children live in abandoned buildings, containers, automobiles, parks, or on the street itself. Tehran the largest city of IRAN has one of the highest rates of street children in the country.

There are significant numbers of children, Afghan and Iranian, working as street vendors in Tehran and other cities and not attending school because their parents are not able to pay the expenses. Recently the government representatives told the UN Committee on the Rights of the Children that there were less than 60 thousand street children in the country.

Working children, children living on the streets and children without complete personal documents, particularly refugee children with bi-national parents, have reduced access to schools. Recently Iranian parliament passed a law which prohibits undocumented children attending the schools or has to pay high tuition for them and it is concerned that many of these immigrants do not have steady income to pay for their children to go to schools. It is also concerned that refugee children are currently only being enrolled in schools if their parents have registered with the authorities as mentioned, and that the enrolment of refugee children comes from the pocket of these parents. In many places managed by NGOs such as Kousha Organization, based in downtown of Tehran, volunteers and teachers help immigrant kids to make them go to school even if they don't get any diploma from the government.

Tehran has 35,000 to 50,000 children forced by adults mostly parents or closed relative to live and beg on the street or to work as slave labourers in sweat shops. The death rate among street children is high. The cause of their deaths varies from malnutrition to diseases brought on by unsanitary conditions and the government is helpless fighting these criminal activities. Also the adults who exploit the children often train them for criminal activities, including selling illegal drugs and alcohol or providing them to others for sexual activities.

The majority of these children had run away from their homes to escape social pressures (because the parents lost jobs, addicted to drugs or involved in illegal activities).

Fortunately there are many Non-Governmental Organizations in Iran and they never hesitate to support any street child but unfortunately the system of their lives forces these children to go back to the streets and do everything except normal things that kids their age do. The child inside these kids is dead and who's to blame?

Barbie's Dead, True Story

“About three weeks ago the morality police came to our shop asking us to remove all the Barbies,” said a shopkeeper in a toy store in Tehran, capital city of Iran.

A range of officially approved dolls launched in 2002 to counter demand for Barbie have not proven successful. “My daughter prefers Barbies. She says Sara and Dara are ugly and fat,” said Farnaz, a 38-year-old mother.

"I don't really get it. Why can we still see Spiderman and Action mans in Lego shops?" Effat, a mother of two boys asks me. I think but don't find any answer. "It's as clear as the sky. It's all about women." She smiles. I still don't get it. Maybe my mind is preoccupied with all the political issues like sanctions, United States policies and stuff. "Women are the basic columns of the building of this government. If you weaken them, change the way men and other women look at them and decide for their lives, you get to rule them so you get to rule the world." 

I don't have kids of my own but I now understand it. Promoting early marriage is one of the things that "Dara and Sara" offer for Iran's children. Dara and Sara are two typical Iranian kids dressed in adult clothes usually seen in a farm; Dara is all powerful and glamorous while Sara is usually holding baskets, coals and food. Is it really fair to girls?
Dara and Sara were born as characters in elementary school books. Their story continues in tales in verse recorded on cassettes that hit stores along with the dolls. In their adventures the brother and sister help each other solve problems and turn to their loving parents for guidance. So far there's nothing wrong with the scenario but when it comes to kids, no girl accepts the fact that Dara is Sara's brother. The stories are so men-dominated that the role of Sara is limited to giving a couple of advice and obeying Dara's commands; A typical Iranian Husband-and-wife relationship.

"Dara" means Wealthy while "Sara" is a western name and doesn't have a meaning in Persian languages.  It's no surprise that such naming can cause the feeling of emptiness in a little girl's life.
Iranian girls, just like any other girl living outside United Stated, love American culture. It's a good idea to save a country's own culture but is making Dara and Sara and banning Barbies the right way to do it?

By Elaheh Zohrevandi

Girls Who Ran From Hell

Female trafficking for sexual purposes is a thriving business in Afghanistan. Girls are purchased from within Afghanistan and trafficked through Pakistan for destinations in the Gulf, Iran, and elsewhere to be wives or prostitutes.

If you still think the evil mother-in-law exists only in Cinderella Stories and fairytales, you’ve got to listen to this shocking piece of news from Afghanistan.

Just before New Year’s Day, Sahar Gul, a 15-year-old teen bride who got married 6 months ago got rescued by the Afghan police after 5 months of being tortured.

Badakhshan, a province in northeast of Afghanistan carries an important part of the country's cultural heritage. The main religion of Badakhshan is Islam. Surprising as it may be, prostitution has been the means of earning money for the Muslim family whom Sahar started living within Baghlan. She was brought to Baghlan to live with her husband but soon things changed for her.

She  was beaten and locked up in a toilet for more than five months after she defied her in-laws who tried to force her into prostitution. Despite being deeply religious and one of the most conservative countries in the world, where sex outside marriage is against the law, prostitution activities are reported in the capital Kabul as well as in the Mazar-e-Sharif area in the north of the country.

She was beaten up practically every day. Her mother-in-law and sister-in-law ripped her fingernails out, tortured her with hot irons and cigarettes, and broke her fingers.

After six months of fighting with the officials to filling a missing case for their daughter, her parents convinced the police to look for her. Police freed her but 5 months of torture in a toilet in a dark basement can be enough to drive a little teenager crazy. 

The case has shocked Afghanistan. President Hamid Karzai has said that whoever used violence against Gul will be punished. Of course, he might be punished. But this brings up a very pertinent question:"Will punishing the arrested people in connection with the case, stop the other possible ones?"

Child marriage affects girls badly in many ways. It blocks them from education and any possibility of independent work. It subjects them to pregnancy and childbirth before they have reached physical maturity, a circumstance that often produces serious physical trauma, psychological disturbance, and sometimes lifelong physical and emotional incapacities. As long as brides are properties of their husbands and the husband's family and as long as laws of forced marriage after being raped exist, Islamic countries are no safe places to be a girl.

It wasn't a long time ago that two Afghan girls were lashed by an authority in Herat, just because they had said no to getting married.

Considering the cultural and historical background of the city and all the people with different colors and religions, Herat has to be the best city of Afghanistan for a battered girl. Although Herat has shelters for runaway women and girls, when the girls dressed as boys and ran from their hometown to start a new life, the police instead contacted the former warlord, Fazil Ahad Khan, a cruel moral enforcer and returned them to his custody.

Fazil Ahmad Khan, the Mullah, who in Islamic texts has to be a well-educated man and the guardian or the master of Muslims, sentenced the girls to 40 lashes. Another mullah struck the girls with straps but not in the way that it has been said in Islamic textbooks of law and punishment. He aimed at their legs and buttocks and not their backs. There were no woman spectators, only men with guns. It was as though everyone was afraid of these innocent girls who had nothing to defend themselves with.

After the shameful event, the audience stood behind mullah and said "Well Done, mullah" and he led them in prayer afterward. After Human Rights started to investigate the case, the governor promised to take action but the place was not safe and the police was not send.

It seems like mullah is more powerful than the governor and the police in Afghanistan.
Regarding marriage, Islamic officials agree that:

• There should be adulthood and sanity of both parties
• In case of non-adulthood, guardianship of father or grandfather is required for marriage.
• Father and grandfather are proprietors of their children and can marry them off.

A girl is said to attain adulthood when she starts menstruating, 9 years, while according to International Law it has to be 18.

Forcing women into an already failed marriage is one of the most common crimes against girls and women yet there are worse cases we don’t even know about. As long as girls are being sold by their families -usually fathers- and being exchanged easier than materials, the story will continue.

Good news last; WAW (Women for Afghan Women) has been fighting for women and their rights in Afghanistan for 10 years. Although the community is still young, the projects they are handling are big and strong. Children's Support Center takes care of more than 50 children who have run away from early marriages or children who seek education.

WAW supports seven shelters all around the country. We harbor women in danger of being murdered for shaming the family, women and girls who have been sold or "paid" to other families as restitution for crimes, forced into marriage, forbidden to marry someone they love. You name the violation, we have examples of it.

Every single day, women are sent behind the bars just because they have no husband to accompany them outside their house. In Afghanistan, most women in prison have committed no crime. Running away from abuse and being accused of adultery are the most common crimes that women are being charged of. Most of the prisoners have gotten married at ages 12, 13 or 14.WAW's Halfway Houses serve women coming out of prison. 

What has to be done?
Because child marriage is a customary practice in Afghan culture, leadership must come from Afghan nationals. It is suggested that the Ministry of Women’s Affairs, and the Ministry of Education, with the support of agencies such as UNIFEM and UNICEF take the lead.

By Elaheh Zohrevandi

No More Child Brides: Fire with Fire

At the end of the class, I can recognize a very shy girl. By teaching for more than five years, I now easily identify girls with Intrapersonal IQs and this girl is definitely one of them. She can write better than any other English classmate of her and she can definitely make up stories to excuse her lateness. I ask her to wait for me outside so that I can talk to her. 
"I want to be a math teacher," says the 17-year-old, her printed green scarf falling on to her lap. "I tell my parents, ‘Do whatever you want, but educate me. Let me go to school.’"

In northern India, where one in two girls is wed before the age of 18, the rate of child marriage is dropping.
Welcome to the front lines of the fight to stop child marriage in a country where nearly half of all girls wed before age 18. The weapon of choice: cash.

Our Daughters, Our Wealth, launched in 1994 by the northern state of Haryana, gives poor families $11 when a daughter is born, and also deposits money into a savings account. If the girl turns 18 unwed, she is eligible to redeem the bond, worth 25,000 rupees (roughly $500, or one third of an average yearly income). The earliest of the program’s approximately 150,000 enrollees turn 18 next year, offering a rare chance to study whether the program offers a solution other states—and countries—can use.

Young brides become young mothers with fatal consequences: pregnancy and childbirth complications top the causes of death among teenage girls, and babies born to mothers younger than 18 face a 60 percent greater risk of dying in their first year than babies born to older mothers. Girls who marry are forced to leave school, a costly loss: World Bank data show that for each year of secondary education, a girl’s future wages climb 10 percent to 20 percent.

The $500 payment is hardly a game-changing sum in India but the program’s designers say the state is sending a message about the worth of girls, traditionally seen as burdens to be fed until they move to their husband’s home, where in-laws benefit from their work.

While economic theory says scarcity increases value, Haryana’s low number of girls is endangering girls—and leading some families to seek earlier marriage for their daughters’ protection.

“Educated people are respected in society,” says 17-year-old Natasha, who is now in the 11th grade and says she wants to study accounting and work in a bank. “It is good to go outside the home and earn something.”

Natasha’s mother is one of many women who never had the chance to study because their families made them wives when they were only girls—an injustice they vow to fight. “I will use the money for her education,” says Natasha’s mother, whose parents arranged her engagement before she had turned 14. “I fought with my parents to stay in school. I don’t want her to have to do the same thing; I want her to have a better life.”

By Elaheh  Zohrevandi

The Woman Is A Girl (Story of Child Brides) Part 2

Not every marriage lasts forever, but early marriage has lifelong consequences for girls.

Every day, teenage girls are forced into marriage with older men without their consent. And if the marriage goes wrong and they run away from their marital home to seek help from their mother and father, they are frequently rejected.

Once, there was a girl with small dreams. And later on there was a woman who had big dreams but life was short and hopes were shattered, punches were strong and bones easily scattered.

There are several things about marriage that a girl should feel before knowing. Things like that need for being held, that urge to call the guys name or even that white dress; yes that requires its own time. But many girls don't get the chance to feel any of those. Sayeh was only six when she was forced to marry her 54-year-old husband for a small amount of money offered to her parents; a man twice her father's age. For him it was like he had bought the wife and the daughter in one. She had her first abortion before even knowing what pregnancy was. "A living thing inside me?" was what she first told her neighbor when she explained it to her. She forgot about the pain and cried of shock instead. "World is such a cruel place, I'm goanna change this hell!"

Karim had a heart attack before even getting to see his child. Experiencing death of the one whom you've spend half of your short life with can be damaging but having dead bodies in yours is even worse. Long story short, Sayeh committed suicide on her 12^th birthday. Not a big surprise to me.

The narrated piece is not fictional and I'm not proud to be the one telling you this but there are more than many girls all around us who are sentenced to marriage which in my point of view is as scary as being sentenced to death. There are even more than many men in their 50s who choose their last wives as girls. I'm going to tell you why some men marry children.

Married men, who pursue young girls, are not after love, they are after conquests. They may be successful or have powerful positions but they are in some ways insecure. They are out to prove they are still attractive and there is no better way to do that than to win the adoration of unsuspecting young girls. Young girls may be encouraged to marry older men, due to the perception that an older husband will be able to act as a guardian against behavior deemed immoral and inappropriate.

Some believe that older men feel rejuvenated when they marry younger women. On the other hand, it could be a test that a man is still attractive to younger, beautiful women.

Dominant notions of morality and honor are important factors encouraging the practice of child marriage. These are influenced great by the importance placed on maintaining 'family honor' and the high value placed on a girl's virginity. It is considered that shame would be cast on a family if a girl was not a virgin when she marries. Therefore, in order to ensure that a girl's virtue remains intact, girls may be married earlier, in order to ensure their virginity.

From years of dealing with victims of marriage as children, despite the fact that I am not married, I consider myself a married child. I deeply believe that as long as girls are forced to get married before reaching puberty and against their will, and as long as men rule the world of marriage and living with a person as grown up partners, we are all victims of discrimination and uncivilization. In fact, we are all married to the shame of living on a planet that bares such dishonest bond between two human beings.

The Woman Is A Girl (Story of Child Brides) Part 1

"As study after study has taught us, there is no tool for development more effective than the empowerment of women." Kofi Annan, Secretary-General of the United Nations

Among all the issues and Problems related to women, from domestic abuse and social misbehaves, poverty and economic disorders in the society, child marriage shines like a single star in the darkness of life's night.

In the last ten years, about 60 million young women have been married before the age of 18. In developing countries, one in every three girl is forced to get married against their will and in violation of international laws and women's rights. These women –I rather call them Child Brides- grow up with limited education and life opportunities. They often have a life made of poverty, isolation and helplessness.

Child marriage, marriage before age 18, is not limited to one country or continent. It affects almost every country in the world including The United States in which ten percent of the married women are under the age of 18 and it's not surprising to hear that Niger, a West African country, is the country with the highest rate of child marriage.

Poor families have almost no way to support healthy alternatives for girls, such as education, or even to feed and clothe them.

There are social and cultural norms that put pressure on families to marry daughters at young ages. For instance, in Islamic countries like Iran, Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia parents may believe that marriage will ensure their daughters’ safety by preventing premarital sex and out-of-wedlock pregnancy. In traditional societies, older men marry young, virginal girls to prove their masculinity and this culture continues to drive this behavior. In Islamic based cultures, according to the holly book of Quran, The minimum age of marriage for girls is 9 while its 15 for boys. There are no limitations for puberty and self-willingness and this leaves us here with unanswered questions about the right to marry a girl in her childhood whether she wants it or not.

Premature pregnancy and motherhood are inevitable consequences of child marriage. Girls under 15 are five times more likely to die during pregnancy and childbirth than women in their twenties. Even if the child survives, he or she is more likely to suffer from low birthweight, undernutrition and late physical and cognitive development.

It's terribly unsurprising that 55% of the widows are women who married before reaching the age of 18. Dealing with the death of someone three times your age, someone who has played the role of a partner in your life isn't something easy. Unfortunately, 60% of the child widows in developing countries are left alone without having a proper education or a source for supporting their own children because they are no longer virgin and even when they are chosen for marriage, they are not the first choices. Most of them accept being married men's second or third wives just to support themselves and their children financially.

The story doesn't end in the east side of the globe. In African countries the statistics are rarely reliable but yet staggering:  In Africa, 42% of girls were married before turning 18.

These are just facts and numbers while the major act can only be done by the NGOs. To support this idea I point at my own country in which stopping forced marriage and child labor is not a math problem. In these countries, p doesn't equal q.

Changing a society's culture is not something one can do under the law's shadow alone. What I suggest through longtime dealing with labor children and women is handing the issue to Non-Governmental Organizations since the governments in many Asian and African countries can't forget about their unjustified laws and help children who lose a sweet childhood before even getting to feel the real life.

The picture taken by Effat Allahyari, Iranian Photographer, depicts the poverty and acceptance of this phenomenon in a developing country.

This Afghan boy is married and has a daughter. He collects wastes and sells them to feed his family.