Let's Make This A Trend

People like to impress and if not able to create it, at least to follow the fashion. EMPOWER is a contemporary buzzword with roots back in the mid-17th century. Yes, it came a long way to be a worldwide trend now. But what hides behind this term?

According to the Oxford dictionaries, the transitive verb “to empower” means “to give (someone) the authority or power to do something” and “to make (someone) stronger and more confident, especially in controlling their life and claiming their rights”. So, we have these two connotations that draw the possibilities of using it correctly. Starting as a synonym for the term “to authorize”, being used in a broader way, meaning "to enable or permit", the term is an essential focus point in nowadays politics, economics, sociology and in pop psychology, based on self-help. Self-help and community-led initiatives contribute to psychological and social well-being through restoring dignity and a degree of control to disadvantaged groups.The Sphere Handbook, an internationally recognized sets of common principles and universal minimum standards in life-saving areas of humanitarian response emphasizes the importance of empowerment. The first Core Standard and its Key actions focus on building on community-based and self-help initiatives. Therefore, empowerment is a cross-cutting issue and lies on four pillars: access to information, inclusion, participation and accountability. The term as it appears today refers to increasing the economic, political, social, educational, gender, or spiritual strength of individuals and communities, meaning “to equip or supply with an ability”. This use was generated by the civil rights movement and is mostly linked to feminism.

Thinking of the current raised women’s issues, empowerment appears as a central point, but not always necessarily as a way to succeed and develop, but more as an excuse for eccentric behaviours. For example, many female artists have scandalous appearances on the stage and, when asked about their performances they blame the nudity and the explicit sexual movements on women’s empowerment. Of course, in this case, the concept looses its essence. The latex (almost un-)dressed female asking to be treated like a sexual toy and to be talked dirty is not helping the improvement of women’s lives, but encourages the harassment. Unfortunately, it becomes the opposite. It is good to raise awareness on women’s beauty and build self-confidence regarding one’s body, but when in most of our societies victim blaming occurs often, this behaviour only boosts the no sense of a right to be free from these kinds of violence.

Empowerment lies on improvement of standards and equality and is the process of obtaining basic opportunities for marginalized people. Women’s empowerment should be made through proper access to information and education, to social security and health-care and not through reassuring the enslavement. Empowerment involves encouraging and developing the competencies in order to make their own choices and not impose highly sexualised role models, created by a narrow vision of femininity. So, let’s not leave that a fashionable term like “empowerment” bring back the same old stereotypes. Let’s create a trend of real empowerment and make a positive change in the world.

Written by Diana-Adela

Is She Happy?

One of the most important questions philosophers of all times have asked to themselves is about the sense of life. Many people believe that the core sense of life is to be happy (i.e. to find the source of happiness for yourself and create the atmosphere of happiness around you). Happiness is a very complex concept. Everyone feels it individually and therefore defines it in his or her own way. In fact, men and women see happiness variously due to the difference in their nature. This deserves a deeper look into it…

Quite often happiness is identified with wealth. John Ralston Saul, a Canadian political philosopher gave a simple explanation on that.[1] "The Enlightenment theory of happiness was an expression of public good or the public welfare, of the contentment of the people," Mr. Saul said. And, he added, this could not be further from "the 20th-century idea that you should smile because you're at Disneyland."

It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness.  Poverty and wealth have both failed.
~Frank McKinney "Kin" Hubbard[2]

Nowadays, the materialistic approach to life and its values has proven to fail. As happiness can not be measured in material things, the consumerismphenomenon of 20^th century illustrates evidently that the raise of buying power did not consequently increase the satisfaction in people’s life. Wealthy people might be as unhappy with their lives, as the ones with low income. And therefore it is important to understand what actually makes us happy.

Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier.  The way it actually works is the reverse.  You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.
~Margaret Young

As said above, happiness is defined by everyone of us individually. I personally would agree with opinion shared on www.scholaradvisor.com[3], where the author of the article states that “…having progress in life, a feeling of forward motion, can make people feel happy.” He then also says that apart from setting goals in life and accomplishing them, which gives people the feeling of purpose, they should also have positive attitude.

If you want to be happy, be.
~Leo Tolstoy

It is rather interesting to learn about some of the differences between the way men and women feel happy. Beth S, M.D. says in her article[4] that there is a difference indeed. “Actually, men's feelings are literally in a different place in their bodies. Women feel happy right in the middle of their chest, like a vibration of happiness. A man, when he feels happy, it's his upper chest and shoulders and neck that fill with energy. If you're watching him, he will literally puff up. He'll look bigger. If he has a moment of ecstasy and is really happy, it flows out through the chest and into his arms and hands, and that's where you get high-fives, or jumping up to hit a cross-beam.” The difference is not only physiological, of course.

Cristen Conger[5]refers to “The 2003 Pew Global Attitudes Project that surveyed 38,000 men and women across 44 countries that lends insight into the disparities between male and female happiness. Overall, women scored themselves as more satisfied with their lives than men. Moreover, women from certain countries, including Pakistan, Japan and Argentina, appeared significantly happier. The differences between what affects men and women's levels of happiness explains this slight gender gap. Women, for instance, tend to focus on personal and domestic problems, while men concern themselves more with matters outside of the home.”

Happiness is always a by-product.  It is probably a matter of temperament, and for anything I know it may be glandular.  But it is not something that can be demanded from life, and if you are not happy you had better stop worrying about it and see what treasures you can pluck from your own brand of unhappiness.
~Robertson Davies

“This variation in values”, Cristen Conger continues -“is also reflected in how the recent recession has affected people's happiness. According to a Nielson Happiness Survey conducted in 51 countries, men's happiness hasn't weathered the economic storm well since they attach more importance to financial success than women. On the other hand, the women surveyed indicated they appreciated quality relationships above all.”

As a summary to all of us,all those women who might feel unhappy with their lives or gave in on finding happiness in everyday routine: dream – setgoals –strive for reaching your aim – do what you enjoy doing in your life – stay positive regardless anything. And probably the last tip…

The best vitamin to be a happy person is B1.
 ~Author Unknown

P.S. Make up your mind on being happy. If you want it, be certain you deserve it and so you will have it.

Happiness is a form of courage.
~Holbrook Jackson

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[1]http://www.paradise-engineering.com/happiness/gnh.html

[2]http://www.quotegarden.com/happiness.html

[3]http://www.scholaradvisor.com/essay-examples/definition-essay-happiness/

[4]http://dating.lovetoknow.com/Understanding_How_Men_Think

[5]http://science.howstuffworks.com/life/men-or-women-happier.htm

The Natural Medication called “Happy”

Almost everyone have heard the hit single 'Don't Worry, Be Happy' by Bobby McFerrin. The song has a very catchy way of conveying its message of being happy to everyone. Bobby Mcferiin's simple message surely made a lot of people by telling them not to worry.

Living a happy, resilient and optimistic life is wonderful, and is also good for your health. Being happy actually protects one from the stresses of life. Today, stress is considered to be linked to top causes of death such as heart disease, cancer and stroke.

One of the better things ever said is - 'The only thing in life that will always remain the same is change', and in our life we have the power to make the necessary changes if we want to. Even if we find ourselves in an unbearable situation we can always find solace in the knowledge that it too would change.

Social networks or relationships are essential to happiness.

People are different, accept people for who or what they are, avoid clashes, constant arguments, and let go of all kinds of resentments. If arguments seem unavoidable still try and make an effort to understand the situation and you might just get along with well with

Happiness is actually found in everyone, increasing it is a way to make a life more wonderful and also more healthy.

To be happy is relatively easy, just decide to be a happy person. Abraham Lincoln observed that most people for most of the time can choose how happy or stressed, how relaxed or troubled, how bright or dull their outlook to be. The choice is simple really, choose to be happy.

There are several ways by which one can do this.

Being grateful is a great attitude.  

We have so much to be thankful for. Thank the taxi driver for bringing you home safely, thank the cook for a wonderful dinner and thank the guy who cleans your windows. Also thank the mailman for bringing you your mails, thank the policeman for making your place safe and thank God for being alive.

News is stressful. Get less of it.

Some people just can't start their day without their daily dose of news. Try and think about it, 99% of the news we hear or read is bad news. Starting the day with bad news does not seem to be a sensible thing to do.

A religious connection is also recommended. Being part of a religious group with its singing, sacraments, chanting, prayers and meditations foster inner peace.

Manage your time.

Time is invaluable and too important to waste. Time management can be viewed  as a list of rules that involves scheduling, setting goals, planning, creating lists of things to do and prioritizing. These are the core basics of time management that should be understood to develop an efficient personal time management skill. These basic skills can be fine tuned further to include the finer points of each skill that can give you that extra reserve to make the results you desire.

Laugh and laugh heartily everyday.  

Heard a good joke? Tell your friends or family about it. As they also say -'Laughter is the best medicine'.

Express your feelings, affections, friendship and passion to people around you.

They will most likely reciprocate your actions. Try not to keep pent up anger of frustrations, this is bad for your health. Instead find ways of expressing them in a way that will not cause more injury or hurt to anyone.

Working hard brings tremendous personal satisfaction.

It gives a feeling of being competent in finishing our tasks. Accomplishments are necessary for all of us, they give us a sense of value. Work on things that you feel worthy of your time.

Learning is a joyful exercise.

Try and learn something new everyday.  Learning also makes us expand and broaden our horizons. And could also give us more opportunities in the future.

Run, jog, walk and do other things that your body was made for.

Feel alive. Avoid exposure to negative elements like loud noises, toxins and hazardous places.

These are the few simple things you can do everyday to be happy.

And always remember the quote from Abraham Lincoln, he says that, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

Chidinma John-Opara

"What Really Makes You Tick?"

10 questions you should ask to yourself: a preparation to self-improvement

I often see myself as somewhat contented with my life the way things are, but of course it's hard to think of anything else when there are real issues to be discussed.

Still I aspire for something deeper and more meaningful.

So we're all pelted with problems. Honestly it shouldn't even bother or even hinder us to becoming all we ought to be. Aspirations as kids should continue to live within us, even though it would be short-lived or as long as we could hold on to the dream. They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks… or can they?

1. What do I really want?

The question of the ages. So many things you want to do with your life and so little time to even go about during the day.

Find something that you are good at can help realize that small step towards improvement. Diligence is the key to know that it is worth it.

2. Should I really change?

Today's generation has taken another level of redefining 'self', or at least that's what the kids are saying. Having an army of teenage nieces and nephews has taught me that there are far worse things that they could have had than acne or maybe even promiscuity. So how does that fit into your lifestyle?

If history has taught us one thing, it's the life that we have gone through. Try to see if partying Seventies style wouldn't appeal to the younger generation, but dancing is part of partying. Watch them applaud after showing them how to really dance than break their bones in break-dancing.

3. What's the bright side in all of this?

With so much is happening around us there seem to be no room for even considering that light at the end of the tunnel. We can still see it as something positive without undergoing so much scrutiny. And if it's a train at the end of the tunnel, take it for a ride and see what makes the world go round!

4. Am I comfortable with what I'm doing?

There's always the easy way and the right way when it comes to deciding what goes with which shoes, or purse, shirt and whatnot. It doesn't take a genius to see yourself as someone unique, or else we'll all be equally the same in everything we do. Variety brings in very interesting and exciting questions to be experimented.

5. Have I done enough for myself?

Have you, or is there something more you want to do? Discontentment in every aspect can be dangerous in large doses, but in small amounts you'll be able to see and do stuff you could never imagine doing.

6. Am I happy at where I am today?

It's an unfair question so let it be an answer! You love being a good and loving mom or dad to your kids, then take it up a notch! Your kids will love you forever. The same goes with everyday life!

7. Am I appealing to the opposite sex?

So maybe I don't have an answer to that, but that doesn't mean I can't try it, though. Whether you shape-up, change the way you wear your clothes or hair, or even your attitude towards people, you should always remember it will always be for your own benefit.

8. How much could I have?

I suppose in this case there is no such things on having things too much or too little, but it's more on how badly you really need it. I'd like to have lots of money, no denying that, but the question is that how much are you willing to work for it?

9. What motivates me?

What motivates you? It's an answer you have to find out for yourself. There are so many things that can make everyone happy, but to choose one of the may be the hardest part. It's not like you can't have one serving of your favorite food in a buffet and that's it. Just try it piece by piece.

10. What Really Makes You Tick?

So? What really makes you tick? You can be just about anything you always wanted to be, but to realize that attaining something that may seem very difficult is already giving up before you even start that journey. Always remember, that self-improvement is not just about the physical or philosophical change you have to undergo, but it's something that

Contributed by Chidinma John-Opara

Few lessons of life worth remembering for women

As said, Women are the better halves of men though some are considered as the insignificant halves by few. Here are a few points worth noting by women, to cheer up their hearts. We all know these things but at times we need a reminder about them!

Our lives are full of misery with recurring bouts of joy. Hence, focus on those happy moments. Cherish them and remember them when sad.

 No one is the reason for our pure, true smile other than us, ourselves.

Life is too small to sit silently and bear the pain. Speak out against what bothers you; talk about your desires and make attempts to fulfill them. Make efforts to achieve your goals, but sometimes, do accept what destiny brings. In such a male dominant society as ours it is already difficult for women to flourish… in that case it becomes imperative to stand up and fight for rights and desires.

Your job is to simply live life as it has been bestowed by almighty to everyone. Serve the needy by making their life better. Spread a smile; make sure you are the reason behind other’s smile.

It is absolutely fine to cry as it is not the sign of weakness but a positive sign of letting your pain flow.

Don’t cripple yourself with the shortcomings of the world. Set bigger examples as ideals. Mirabai, Mother Teresa, Cleopetra, Queen Elizabeth, Jane Austen, Helen Keller, Queen Victoria, Rubinstein, Indira Gandhi, J K Rowling to name a few who changed the history.

Make your future secured by investing; don’t be dependent. Make yourself competent enough to lead a sustained life.

At times, resistance is futile… just grab what you want and fly. Never bother your present with the worries of the future and mistakes of past. Take a deep breath when things go wrong and think well. You are the best judge. Be prepared for the worst and then let it come.

Trust God and his ways. If he has given you some pain and moments of grief then he is pretty sure that you can handle them well.

One of the most important rules is: Never be on mute mode when you face any abuse, molestation or exploitation, whether on the personal or professional front. It cannot be tolerated at any cost. We are born free and shall live free.  

Aakshi Kalra

How to identify violence against children

They are two kinds of situations when the children are victims of violence: when they see the violence against their mother, and this affects them emotional, behavioral and academically, or when they are victims of the aggressor themselves.

There exist different kinds of child abuse: physical, sexual, emotional and abandon.

To identify physical violence is important to be alert about:

• Bruises, burns or scars in the skin of the child.
• Broke or dislocated bones.
• The kid is scared about the parents and don´t want to go home after school.
• The kid affirms that the parents or guardian hurt him or her.
• The kid is afraid when an adult is near him.

It is important to see if the parents or other guardian can´t explain the kid injuries, if they affirm that the child is bad or use extreme discipline against him or her.

To identify sexual violence, here is what you should look for:

• The kid might have pains in genitals.
• Have difficulty in walking or sitting.
• Doesn't want to change clothes in the gym or doesn´t want to practice sports.
• He or she wet's the bed.
• She or he knows more than common about sex.
• Loses appetite.
• Girls get pregnant or have a venereal disease before they are14 years old.
• Leaves home.
• Affirms that he is victim of abuse from the parents or an adult guardian.

It is important to identify if the parent or adult is overprotecting the kid or limiting the contact with other kids (specially the opposite sex), if is jealous with other members of the family, is mysterious or lonely.

To identify emotional violence observe if the kid:

• Have behavioral changes suddenly: go to passivity to aggression, to calm to hysteric.
• His or her behavior is like an adult, for example: taking care of other child.
• His or her behavior is very childlike: hit his or her head.
• Have a slow emotional or physical development.
• Try to commit suicide.

Also the adult o parent in charge accused or humiliates the kid constantly, reject the kid openly or don´t want to accept the kid problems.

Finally to identify abandon is important to see if the kid

• Is absent to the school frequently.
• Is asking for money or food or thief this.
• Is dirty and smelling.
• Don´t have enough clothes to protect him or herself to the weather.
• Looks ill or with dental problems.

It is important to consider that maybe the parent or guardian is having troubles with drugs, alcohol, looks depress, have an irrational behavior, don´t care about child needs.

In all the cases is important to identify if the aggressor is lying and we can identify this with the face expression, with the sallow of saliva, the changes in the voice loud, and always when the kid tells you that he or she is being abused because the kids never lie.

The most of the times this signs are identified into the school, but is important to take care about this signs if you are a working parent and you leave your children with a nanny or guardian.

If you believe that one kid that you know is being abused because you recognize some of this behaviors please denounce the parents or guardian to protect the children life.

Source:
http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/sp_signs.cfm
http://rompeelmaltratodetuhijo.com/blog/como-ayudar-a-ninos-maltratados-detectando-las-mentiras-del-maltratador.html


By Claudia Fierro

How to identify if you are in a safety relationship

I´m going to start a series of recommendations about How to identify violent attitudes in different situations: in the relationship, with children, into the family and some others. I hope it will be useful for you and the people who are close to you. We are going to start with a test to identify violence in relationship.

It is very difficult to identify violence in a relationship because in all relations, there exist good and bad moments. But when your boyfriend is aggressive with you, it is the moment to ask for help.

But, how do you know that? Maybe it is going to be confusing at the beginning but you can look for signs that indicate the abuse. Abuse has a pattern, first starts tension in the relationship and then the abuse and then pardon.  During the "love phase", maybe the abuser is really regretful and asks for forgiveness, and it would be a very romantic moment and you can feel intimate again, but the aggressor is going to continue.

These are some questions to help you define if you are in a healthy relationship or not (Please answer true or false)

1. We decide our plans as a couple together (T o F)
2. I started to feel isolated from my old friends (T o F)
3. Very often my spouse criticizes me  (T o F)
4. If I want to go alone for an activity of the school or social in the afternoon he easily agrees (T o F)
5. I feel pressure to participate in sexual activities (T o F)
6. I always try to please my partner, and I feel responsible if something goes wrong (T o F)
7. My partner make fun of with malice and embarrasses me in front of others (T o F)
8. My partner hurts me physically but he regrets later (T o F)
9. My feelings and wishes are important to my spouse (T o F)
10. My partner is very jealous (T o F)

Results

You are in a healthy relationship if you answer true to questions 1,4,9 and false to 2, 3, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 10. If you answer false in a true question or the opposite this is a sign of being in a disrespectful relationship. If you answer true to the questions 5 to 8 you are definitely an abuse victim.

If you are a victim please find the way to end the relationship, talk with your parents or confident friends, avoid being alone with your partner, plan how to react if he is aggressive with you. Abuse is a crime, so, call the police is you are in this kind of situation.

Remember, your life and integrity are valuable and you should defend this. Don´t be silly, your couple is going to try to convince you to get back but the situation is going to be the same. Be strong and fight for your rights.

Based on: http://www.ywcabham.org/DVRes/espanol/relacion.asp


By Claudia Fierro