UN declares October 11th as “International Day of the Girl Child”

NEW YORK, 20th December 2011 - The United Nations General Assembly on Monday voted to designate 11 October  as the ‘International Day of the Girl Child’ following a two-year campaign spearheaded by Plan International with the support of the Canadian government and supported by a coalition of partners.

The day will promote girls’ human rights, highlight gender inequalities that remain between girls and boys and address the various forms of discrimination and abuse suffered by girls around the globe.

Speaking on the announcement, the UNGEI Secretariat Head Cheryl Gregory Faye said “This day acknowledges that despite progress achieved, discrimination and violence against girls and violations of their human rights still persist. We must continue to raise awareness of the challenges that millions of girls face every day simply trying to claim their right to an education and other rights.”

“With three years remaining, the costs of the failure to meet the Millennium Development Goal targets are high and will most likely be disproportionately borne by the world’s most vulnerable and poorest girls,” Faye continued. “Only through girls’ full and equal participation in all areas of life, starting with a quality education, can we hope to achieve gender equality and fundamental freedoms”.

Research has shown us that an extra year of schooling increase a girls’ eventual wages by 10 to 20 percent, ensures they marry later and have fewer, healthier children, who themselves get educated.

About UNGEI:The United Nations Girls’ Education Initiative (UNGEI) is a partnership of organizations committed to narrowing the gender gap in primary and secondary education. It also seeks to ensure that, by 2015, all children complete primary schooling, with girls and boys having equal access to free, quality education. UNGEI was launched in 2000 at the World Education Forum in Dakar, Senegal, by then United Nations Secretary-General Kofi Annan in response to a troubling reality: Of the millions of children worldwide who were not in school, more than half were girls – a reality that continues today. To read more about UNGEI, visit: www.ungei.org

Source: http://www.ungei.org/news/index_2932.html

Accessed: 04/10/2012

Researched by online volunteer: Daniela Silva.

NGO GETS COMMENDATION OVER COMMUNITY SCHOOL

By Patrick Nwanze-Asaba

THE Okuijorogu community in Okpe Local Government Area, Delta State, has commended a Non-Governmental Oranization (NGO), Deltawomen USA-Nigeria, for its interest in opening schools in the community.

The commendation was made when the Coordinator of Deltawomen, Elsie Ijorogu-Reed, and her team visited the community to acquaint themselves with the level of education.

The group has been in the vanguard of campaign to open schools in Okuijorogu community and distributed notes, pencils, and biros to the children during the visit.

A spokesman of the community, Mr Lawrence Ijere, said they were greatful to God and the NGO for its interest in educating their children.

He said their visit will further inspire the children to educational pursuit and thanked Elsie Ijorogu-Reed, praying God to sustain her.

Earlier, the coordinator of Deltawomen said the group had written and caused the government to take steps to open a school in the community.

She said they were happy that action was been taken, following their letters and promised to continue the pursuit for schools to be opened in Okuijorogu community.

It will be recalled that Deltawomen had in the past offered free eye treatment and provided reading glasses to the people.

Culled from Pointer Newspaper Sunday,October 28,2012 page 11

Child Brides: Stolen Lives of Nigeria’s Girls

Nigeria has some of the highest rates of child marriages in the world. In some areas, particularly the Northwest region, nearly half of the girls in the country are married by the age of 15, often to much older men.

The government has tried to ban marriage under the age of 18 by passing the Child Rights Act in 2003. Federal law, however, can be implemented differently at the state level. To date, only a few of the country’s 36 states have developed provisions to execute the law. Furthermore, Nigeria has three different legal systems operating simultaneously-civil, customary, and Islamic-and state and federal governments only have control over marriages that take place within the civil system. This type of governance makes it difficult to curtail child marriages across the country1. 

The consequences of child marriages are devastating for girls:
“When I was 10 my parents arranged for me to marry in the forest. They pretended it was just a party. But it was a wedding and they sent me away. My mother never told me I was going to be married. They came and took me by force. I cried but it didn't make any difference,” Child Bride, 10 years old2.

Married girls receive basically no education. Only 2 percent of 15-19 year old married girls attend school, compared to 69 percent of unmarried girls1. Lack of education limits girls only to the reproductive roles-submissive wives and mothers. A lack of education also means that young girls lack knowledge about sexual relations, thus denying girls the ability to make informed decisions about sexual relations, planning and family, and most importantly, her health2.

Having children at such a young age is also a serious health hazard. Mothers whose bodies are physically incapable of going through childbirth suffer horrible injuries that leave them physically and emotionally scarred for life. One of the most severe consequences of child pregnancy is fistulas. The Ministry of Health estimates between 200,000-400,000 girls and women are living with fistulas1. Fistula is a condition that leaves girls leaking urine and/or feces and often results in abandonment by partners, family and friends. These girls therefore become stigmatized by their communities and often resort to working in the sex industry as result of being shunned by society.   

Fistula is not the only medical condition that young brides are susceptible to. Young girls are much more likely than unmarried girls to contract HIV from their usually older, polygamous husbands. Married girls have less knowledge about HIV and are less likely to negotiate condom use. They are also unaware that HIV can be passed on from mother to child1.

Despite all these devastating consequences, child marriage still continues to prevail and there is considerable opposition to the law banning child marriage, particularly in Northern Nigeria. This is partly due to families living in poverty who cannot afford to care for their daughters; having notions of morality and honour with a high value placed on a girl’s virginity, and religion. One cleric states that it is difficult to accept banning of child marriages because it is permissible according to religion3.

The way forward is a difficult and challenging path, but a necessary one. A lot can be done to promote later, chosen and legal marriage. Some suggestions include raising awareness of the extent of early marriage and human rights abuse it constitutes; engaging communities through public campaigns, pledges or incentive schemes; and raising awareness for parents, community leaders, and policymakers about the importance and necessity of enrolling girls in schools and completing education.

1“Child Marriage Briefing Nigeria”: Population Council, August 2004. http://www.populationcouncil.org/pdfs/briefingsheets/NIGERIA.pdf
2 “Child Marriage:” Forward: Safeguarding Rights and Dignity. 2012
3 Navai, Ramita. Unreported World: Nigeria Child Brides.2008.

By May el Habachi

Changing the world, one person at a time

Women born and brought up in rural areas are less educated and less aware of her rights. Women are forced to dedicate their lives only for the purpose of household chores. They are denied their basic access to her freedom and confined to four walls. 

Here’s a path breaking woman who knew her potential and possible ways to create her space in this male dominated society. I am writing about my short yet quite inspiring conversation with her. I am glad I could meet her in this journey of my life.

While I was waiting at the station, I saw an old woman carrying big bags which were certainly not easy to hold. She stood near a pole and sighed with relief and smiled. I wondered why she smiled. I heard that the train was delayed for 20 minutes and in those few minutes I decided to interact with her. I shared the same waiting bench with her and couldn’t stop myself from asking her, where she was going  with such heavy luggage.

Old lady replied, “My journey has no end. I am a voyager.”

Curiosity aroused in me to inquire further, I said, “Tell me, where, as I may help you out.”

She smiled and said, “I am from a distant village and I am carrying clothes and books in these bags for primary students. I have seen the condition of my villagers and especially young girls who couldn’t attend school. I am one of them. Since I have realized the need of the hour which is education, I believe I must spread the same for putting a concrete stone in the building up of society. Education makes us differentiate between justified and unjustified, correct and wrong and duties and rights. Girls in my village were made to work as unpaid slaves and maids. They were denied education and outdoor games. They were being sacrificed to the tradition of early marriage which led to widespread problems. I felt the need to bring about the change. I have recently opened up a small school in my village with the help of administration. The main reason behind my success is my family’s constant support.”

I became quite enthusiastic and asked further, “So what is your plan?”
She promptly answered, “Each one teach at least one. If I as an illiterate could understand this why can’t literates understand? ” 

I instantly replied,” Hats off to you Madam for your courage and thought provoking views.”
She said, “I am on my way to a village where a woman like me is running a school in a room. I wish to help her in her endeavor.”

What an inspiration, indeed!


By Dr. Aakshi Kalra

India and Surrogate Mothers

A new trend in the West is, if you cannot conceive your own child, to use a surrogate mother in India. This process costs tens of thousands of dollars and frequently uses poor women who already have children so they will not become attached to the Western baby. The money the Indian woman makes is more than she could make in many years of working on her own.

When it comes to surrogate mothers below the poverty line, is it exploitation or not?

Shabnum Nur Mohammed Sheikh's reasons for bearing another woman's child are straightforward: the 60 rupees (80p) her husband earns from his food stall each day buys dinner but little else.

Shabnum's first surrogate pregnancy got her out of a shared shack in a slum and into a small flat. Her second will pay for uniforms, books, bags and eventually, she hopes, university fees for her three young daughters.
"I hope my kids will work in computers or something like that," Shabnum, 26, said. "Then they will look after me when I'm old."

Pushpa Pandiya, 33, also left the slums after buying a small apartment with money earned from, in her case, two surrogate pregnancies. She too has a bright young daughter.

"Education is getting very costly but it is essential," she said, explaining that she was about to embark on her third pregnancy for some "very nice" foreigners.

Since 2002, when the practice was legalised,India has become a world centre of "surrogacy tourism".
A relative lack of red tape and prices that are a quarter of those in the US or Europe have brought thousands of childless couples to Indian clinics to be matched with women like Shabnum and Pushpa.

The Confederation of Indian Industry predicts the business will generate $2.3bn (£1.5bn) annually by 2012. A recent report by the Indian Law Commission described it as a "pot of gold".

Radical legislation is to be introduced to bring some order to this booming but almost unregulated sector.
One measure will make it compulsory for prospective parents to carry proof that any infant born to a surrogate mother will have automatic citizenship in their home countries in an attempt to avoid messy legal battles.

A second will stop clinics that perform the clinical procedures from sourcing, supplying and taking care of the surrogate mothers themselves.

"The IVF clinics' job is to do IVF. We want them away from the potential areas where corruption and malpractice take place," said Dr RS Sharma, secretary of the bill's drafting committee and deputy director general of the Indian Council for Medical Research.

The draft bill bans post-natal contact between a surrogate mother and the child she has borne.
"It is natural that when it is inside you for nine months you have some feelings. But from the beginning we are conditioned not to involve our emotions," Pushpa said. "When they take the child, those days are a bit tough. I know I have done a good thing in helping someone have a child and a happy life but I think about them a lot."

Shabnum, 26, said text messages and photos from the parents of the child to whom she had given birth made her very happy – until they tailed off.The bill makes any such contact a criminal offence punishable by fines or imprisonment of up to two years "or something appropriate like that".

Within a week Nikki and Bobby Bains from Ilford, Essex, will fly to Gujarat, in India, to pick up their second child from the Akshanka clinic in Anand.

Their first, Daisy, was born to a surrogate mother nearly two years ago after "a 13-year struggle".
"It's very difficult to find surrogates in the UK. There are lots of delays and surrogates are very rare. We had a couple of bad experiences too," said Bobby, 46. "So we ended up with 10 attempts, all in India. It has cost around £80,000 in medical fees.

"We call Daisy Little Miss India. We are Sikh, the surrogate was Muslim, the egg donor was Hindu. So she encapsulates the whole country.

"No one can say we are exploiting anyone. They get paid the equivalent of 10 or 15 years' salary. At least you know the money goes to a good cause."

Even if they are saying they are not exploiting,and rather these mothers don't consider it as exploitation,in a straight thinking,are some people really taking advantage of the poor for their own benefit by spending money? Whatever it may be,the only good thing is that both parties are well satisfied and there are no problems. Let it go on like that in the future too.

Okuijorogu community Goes Agog As Elsie Reed Visits Community

By Otega Oghenero-Warri

Okuijorogu community in Okpe Local Government Council of Delta State was at the weekend thrown into jubilation as they welcomed their own daughter, sister and mother Mrs Elsie Ijorogu-Reed.The visit according to Mrs Elsie Reed, was to see her people, especially the children that is left behind in the scheme of

educational activities.

After a brief meeting with the elders and women, she dished out several note books, pencils and writing pen to the community children and assured them that Deltawomen will continue to assist the community.

The community elders thanked her(Mrs Elsie Ijorogu-Reed) especially her NGO for the efforts and continued support towards alleviating their sufferings.

According to the youth leader, Comrade Lawrence Ijere, "we are very happy for visit, and for the supports she is giving to us. We pray God will continue to bless and protect her for us."

How to depend less on people´s opinion

We can´t deny that there are important people in our life who we trust, and look for some advice when tuff decisions come into our life, or when we need to receive some feedback about how we´re dealing with certain duties. In spite of their help, we´re the ones in charge of the decisions we make and their consequences, and the ones who should support them, and believe on our conscious and our inner voice who says what is right or wrong.

However, not all of us are ready to deal with comments or criticism of the rest of people about how we live and behave. This is a real shame, since no one else can handle the same purpose in life, and no one else has knowledge enough to judge strongly our decisions and behavior. We have to be proud of who we really are, and improve all the time, based on our own wellness, not in what other people are going to say about me.
In order to get this attitude, here are some ideas that can help:

• Freedom of someone else´s opinion:  We need to trust in our inner voice, this can avoid people of being slaves of people´s opinions, or being tied to prejudices and repeat them in our lifes,  just because that was the way we were raised, without analyzing if it works for us or not. This situation causes unhappiness, and reduces our capacity of choosing and building our own story.
• Happiness depends upon us: We just can share it with people, but we can´t expect people to make us happy.  Happiness is an attitude, not an emotion that depends on people´s approval.
• Nobody can make us feel less, without our consent: We can dedicate time, an hour daily if possible, to build our self- esteem, to visualize who we really are, what we want in life, heal our heart, and recover our force to reach our goals.
• Being yourself is a gift: If we only hope the praise and worship to feel valuable, we can be so easily destroyed by criticism of others, by malice, by discredit. It can address out lifes to depression and affects our immunologic system.
• Our own opinion is more important that the opinion of anyone: Other´s opinions are exactly this, other´s opinion. We know what we have faced in life, our efforts, our personal battles, all valuable things we have given to people, our weak areas, and our strengths. There´s nobody else with the capacity to build a really deep opinion about us, but ourselves.

So, before trying to look for approval or recognition, build it inside, where you know who you really are, and how strong you can be to reach what you want in life.

By Rebeca Alvarez Montoya

NGO Visits Ugba Primary School

By Nwoko Kelvin--- Issele-Uku

An international Non-governmental organization, Delta Women on Monday, October 22, 2012 visited Ugba Primary School Onicha-Olona in Aniocha North Local Government Council, Delta State.

The visit which was led by the CEO Mrs Elsie Ijorogu-Reed was to access the school buildings and to see how the pupils are learning.

 It will be recalled that Ms Lauretta Onochie, a daughter of the community, the initiator of Ndi Anioma(a facebook group), and a senior board member of Liberate-Delta People's Movement posted the photographs of the dilapidated school buildings on the Internet.

However, her post necessitated the visit of the NGO, to see how Deltawomen could help Olona community in making the school a standard one but on getting there, it was a different story as the school now wears a new look.

The NGO's team was received by the Head Mistress, Mrs Dibie S.O, who took the CEO round the school premises, after which she promised to donate text books to the pupils.

The importance of Japanese female assembly-members.

It is often argued that the most industrialized states enjoy the highest ratio of women in politics. Interestingly, Japan, one of the strongest economies in the world, experiences ridiculously low percentages of women involved in decision-making in the local governments. According to information found on the website of the Gender Equality Bureau, in 2010 there were only 8.2%  female members in prefectural assemblies, 10.8% female members of city, ward, town, and village assemblies, 6.4% female prefectural governors and 1.3% female mayors.  

A year ago I got an opportunity to interview three assembly women in Japan: Wakao Kimie, Reiko Ueda and Mitsuko Murao. I was surprised when I realized that despite being driven towards politics for very different reasons they all shared a common political agenda: environmental aspects and facilities for children and elderly people were given a priority. 

Wakao Kimie, an independent representative in the Hachioji Assembly, told me that she has been always close to politics because of her friends´ influences. People around her were interested in national political affairs, they followed news and then discussed it together. When her son was a little child, she, as every mother in the world, wanted to ensure his healthy development. „All Japanese citizens know how important it is to segregate garbage, however, there is still so much space for an improvement ...And the air is very polluted”, she said. 

Concerns about the children's future and their health motivated her to challenge these issues as an assemblywoman. She stressed a need for an improvement of social welfare, especially services for elderly people and children. “Costs of medical care are far too high. These expenses are increasing on a daily basis. Elderly people have a right for being happy and healthy and our responsibility is to ensure that they will have good life until they die.” She worried about her parents and parents-in-law who live far away and have nobody to take care of them. “There must be some opportunity for them to get help if it will be needed.” Also the demand for kindergartens is far higher than available facilities. When her son was a child, she needed to ask her neighbors for help. This was stressful and uncomfortable situation for her. „All people should have a right to access such facilities”, she concluded.

For Mitsuko Murao, a Hitachi assemblymember, the reason for entering electoral decision-making was not a problem that she wanted to solve, but rather an encouragement of inhabitants of her town. She lives in a countryside characterized by backwardness and lack of any structural organization; a place where „people do not have manners and it is impossible to get along with each other.” When she received a MA degree in chemistry, people living in the same dormitory asked her to run for the elections. They believed she would make a good representative because she was not only intelligent but... she was also a housewife. The combination of these two roles allowed her to keep her office for 21 years. 

Several times in the year she organizes a meeting with inhabitants to encourage them for more interest in politics.“If people remain passive and uninterested in political affairs, there will never be true democracy. Often members of local assemblies do not care about their duties towards citizens they are representing. More awareness of electorate could change it.” Murao wants to ensure that economic aspects will not overshadow the importance of objectives that are closely related to human well-being and health, such as peace and environmental issues.

My last respondent, Reiko Ueda was always concerned about unfair employment opportunities for women. In her hometown, Edogawa, women are regarded as secondary citizens with no choice but household duties. She complained about a city mayor who was old-fashioned and looked down at women. He did not understand women´s requests for equality in a working environment. Ueda co-founded  the Edogawa Working Women Group (1999) which gave support to working mothers. Her organization strengthened women but it failed to bring significant changes. Determined, she ran for the elections. As she said: “Every year more working women become angry with Japanese policy makers who are unfair and old-fashioned.” For this reason she knew she could count on their support. 

Ueda's priority is to guarantee equal employment opportunities for men and women. Edogawa must
become a women-friendly region with a good policy for working mothers. If women have the
opportunity to leave their children under the custody of a nursery, their chances on the labor market
will increase. This will benefit not only women but also the government provided with more income from taxes: “It is win-win case where both sides are better off”. In order to make it possible, there cannot be place for conservative politicians who ignore women's aspiration and limit their access to job market.


The discussion with these women made me realized how important their role is in politics. Environmental issues and child-elderly care facilities are aspects often forgotten by decision makers; however they are essential for future generations. While male politicians are more concerned about economical aspects, women see a need for dealing with issues that create obstacles in their everyday life. They want to ensure that every woman will be provided with an opportunity to place her child in kindergarten and to think about her own career. She might also have ambitions and other things to do than child rearing. However, because the burden of child and elderly care is put on them and never on men, male politicians fail to recognize the lack of proper facilities as a problem. Women are also interested in environmental issues. Because they are mothers concerned about their children's health they want to protect them from polluted air and dirty surroundings. 

"How to help women in Japan” remains a problematic issue without an answer. There will never be created more child and elderly care facilities without female decision makers on all levels on governance who make it happen themselves. And paradoxically, the number of politically active women will not raise until they will be provided with facilities helping them to take care of their dependents and providing them with time to make their ambitions happen.

By Klaudyna Mikolajczyk

Deltawomen Donate To Flood Victims

Deltawomen Donate To Flood Victims
By Bovert Ijebor---Asaba

A Non-Governmental Organization(NGO) Deltawomen, USA-Nigeria, has donated medical items to flood displaced persons at St Patrick's College, Asaba.

The group led by Mrs Elsie Ijorogu-Reed, also promised that they would continue to support the camp because "we feel their pains"

According to her, Deltawomen were touched by the sufferings of those in the camp, especially mothers and babies and enjoined them to hope in God as their condition would improve.

Mrs Ijorogu-Reed who also distributed pampers to nursing mothers.

The items were recieved by Mrs Ann Chalokwu-Orumade, Special Assistant to the Governor on Poverty Alleviation and Hon. Angela Nwaka, Special Assistance to the Governor on Health, who is also a member of Deltawomen.

From Pointer Newspaper.

Harsh Realities

Memories play a vital role in our journey. We act according to our past experiences which are remembered as memories. Thus, indirectly they build our opinions and reflect our judgments. Ask any one and you’ll be able to hear that memories of childhood are being cherished throughout life. It was the best time of our life. Once we start understanding the world, we lose ourselves in the midst of the mundane - and then we reconnect with the beautiful days of yesterday. That’s how childhood memories are special.

But somehow the definition is reforming. Children want to grow faster and experience things at an age prior to the one designated for the same. There are no fixed standards but it is always better to do childish stuff when you are a kid. That’s what childhood is about. My grandparents and my great grandparents told me that their childhood went in playing various games and studying. In our case or what I have been observing in the newer generations is that there’s lot more to do in childhood apart from basic studying and playing - gadgets, watching inappropriate programs on television, accessing too much information on the iInternet - The gadget world has no doubt brought us together but it has taken the simple life away. Most of us are now addicted to electronics and its gadgets. It is hard to stay away from them.

My little sister finds it awkward to go out and play with her friends. She prefers to watch TV instead or surf the net. These days, she plays with my phone and sends messages her friends. At times, I feel I am running late as compared to her. Memories are still important for her as well. In fact, Understanding how memory functions in children and adolescents might lead to more effective teaching strategies in the classroom. Memories have been redefined indeed but their role remains the same. Emotions are driven in the same wagon whenever we recall childhood.

And on the other end of the spectrum are the unfortunate ones.

Unfortunately, some little girls do not know what childhood is. They spend their time in fighting with poverty and its miseries. Their rugged pillow is their favorite doll. In the morning, I was lucky that I could help a young girl. Her clothes portrayed her penury. I spoke to her and in between I just mentioned some game which was quite popular in my childhood… and what she replied, “What is this? I am hearing this for the first time. I don’t know when did my childhood came and left. I just know that I am and I was a laborer.”

I am shocked at this diversity.

-Written by Dr. Aakshi Kalra

The Life of a woman: Career vs. Responsibilities

Women in developed world are prone to difficult situations in terms of having to make critical decisions. Her fight begins at birth and continues till the end. Survival of the fittest theory is suitable for all but in case of women it is moreover a case of survival of the strongest which prevails. 

A woman is often tied up choosing between priorities and duties. To educate each and every girl is a good deal, but the other side of coin says that not just education can uplift her completely. Old traditional ideas need modernization. A woman is no more a chattel to be confined at home neither a laborer who is meant to work continuously with no complaints and no demands. Even if she seamlessly works, she is not being appreciated for her endeavors and at times, faces physical abuses.

An educated urban woman meets situations of another kind. The much needed balance at work and home makes her compromise on various essential aspects. Many a time, it is a difficult call to decide upon priorities - whether career first or home first. Equilibrium is essential. For bachelor women, it is the marriage which asks for choices between the two. For some, marriages come as a blockage between them and their career.

Neither every woman gets a chance to build a career of her choice nor does every woman get to work post marriage. The ones who are blessed with an opportunity to work after marriage complain too. Although as a human being, we all tend to complaints at one point of time for some or the other reason, very few people are content with what they have. But what if the reasons are valid? 

It is indeed a difficult situation to balance upon issues concerning family and profession. But everything can be sorted out if she gets ample of support from her family. Performance increases immensely if she stays hale and hearty. A woman never minds being a home-maker; in fact that’s her most adored 'job'. But respect is something she deserves, but isn't given.

By Dr. Aakshi Kalra

Me and My Silent World

My world says a lot of things to me but silently. My desires and dreams say a mouthful though the entire world is unable to hear me. My mother says I am special but with a pinch of difference. I wish the world could understand what my mother used to say without listening a word. 

I am a 7 year old girl who wishes to go to school. But I cannot be admitted because I am dumb. My life is as joyful as it is for other children when it comes to family love. I may not be able to scream in happiness while playing but I feel content and glad inside.

The tears of my mother hurt me. At times I think I am the reason behind her crying.

Somehow, I also know that my smile makes her smile and doubles her strength to fight back with time. She wishes to see me educated but is that possible? We are not that financially sound that we could afford private schooling for me. Unfortunately, mostly children like me are born at homes where they are in need of a helping hand not a burdensome bag.

A few days back, I fell in my room while I was climbing the ladder. I experienced sharp shooting pain. I wanted to yell out but…. I couldn’t. I had sprained my foot. My family presumed that I had slept. When they found me, my mother cried out in guilt.

But don't feel sad for me. I am like every other kid. I am not looking for sympathies. It was a small accident and I believe we all learn through falls. I am nowhere less than anyone. Life is full of challenges and I am ready to accept them. Only if someone is not willing to override my confidence and wreak havoc, of course, but even then, I will fight back.

Certain influential people of society come and speak big things about disabilities and their possible cure. Their false promises come on floor when it comes to testing period. We do not need sympathy or monetary help. We require support so that we can flourish too. Give us the equal standing.

-By Dr. Aakshi Kalra

ALCOHOL: AN ADDICTION CLAIMING LIVES OF MANY WOMEN

Alcohol is an intoxicating constituent of many hard/alcoholic drinks. Alcoholism is lifelong and it can be both progressive and life threatening. Alcohol consumption has increased manifold in the recent years especially among women. Men and women under the age of 21 are strictly prohibited from drinking. Woman who are or planning to become pregnant should avoid drinking as well but no one really cares about the after effects. Alcoholic drinks can interfere with certain medicines and cause side effects. 

In spite of knowing the ill effects of alcoholism, women are increasingly getting indulged into this addiction. It is a potent source of depression contrary to what people normally think - that it makes them forget worries. 

Women are at greater risk than men for developing alcohol-related problems. Research suggests that as little as one drink per day can slightly raise the risk of breast cancer in some women, especially those who are postmenopausal or have a family history of breast cancer.

Women who are facing troubles in their career, close relationships, unmarried, divorced or separated are prone to alcoholism. Assaulted or sexually abused women face the same. They feel they have been rejected by society and it seems that alcohol keeps them away from troublesome worldly situations. Unfortunately, over drinking deteriorates their health and mental thinking and reacting abilities.

Stress coping is a daily phenomenon in a woman’s life. One of another reasons for drinking is stress coping.

Drinking too much often leads to impaired judgement, slurring of the speech, a tendency to violent behaviour and loss of short-term memory. As alcohol also irritates the stomach, heavy drinking can cause sickness and nausea, and sometimes diarrhoea. Alcohol also has a dehydrating effect, which is the main reason why excessive drinking can lead to a hangover. 

In the long term, alcohol can contribute to a variety of problems, including damage to an unborn child, liver disease, osteoporosis (thinning of the bones), pancreatitis, stomach ulcers, infertility, heart disease, raised blood pressure, stroke, dementia and brain damage. 

It can also lead to an increased risk of a variety of cancers, particularly breast cancer and cancer of the gullet. All these are adverse reactions of over drinking as it is well said, “Excess of everything is bad”

Let us try to make life better for womanhood so that worse situations do not drive her towards such addictions. There are numerous ways of coping up with this addiction but it is often a difficult path and requires full support and patience of the family along with the sufferer. Rehabilitation centers offer solutions to such problems. Peer and family care can make anyone overcome alcoholism in span of time. One day we all have to die, so why not die with a smile with nurturing family beside instead of dying with poisonous addictions and that too lonely!

By Dr. Aakshi Kalra

When Irony Slapped her....

Ndidi had absolutely no intention of trying this whole “sugar daddy” thing when Ngozi came up to her with a persuasive tone. “Oh come on, now, Ndidi, it’s fun! All he wants is for you to hang out with him, and he will give you plenty, plenty of things!”  Ndidi was unsure. Her own father was strict, and terribly harsh with her. But when Ngozi would tell her how wonderful her sugar daddy was – how he took care of her – showered her with gifts, bought her so much... some of which Ngozi shared with her, even... it was too much to take. And now, Ngozi wanted to introduce her to her sugar daddy’s friends!

“Come on Ndidi. For my sake!” pleaded Ngozi.

“Nope.”

“Okay. At least to see the guest house he meets me in, please?”

Ndidi gave in. That evening, she went with Ngozi to the guest house, thinking it would just be a visit to see the place. But Ndidi was wrong. Ngozi made Ndidi feel comfortable, settling around the space, when there came a knock on the door. The sugar daddy and his friend were home.

Ndidi got the shock of her life.

The “friend” was her own father!

Ndidi was furious. But she decided to play the game. She introduced herself to her father, saying, “I’m Ndidi. Pleased to meet you!”

Her father stuttered in response.

Ndidi asked him, “I want a big bottle of Guinness Stout!”

Her father asked her, “Aren’t you too young to drink?”

Ndidi stared back, her eyes blazing. “I didn’t even want to meet this friend, and Ngozi brings me here to see the guest house. But what do I see? YOU!” she spat. She turned to Ngozi. “Give me the Guinness Stout I wanted. Ask your Sugar daddy for it!”

Her father was shocked, ashamed and dreadfully numbed to say anything. Ndidi drank herself silly, and lit up a cigarette before him. She was too angry, and ran out on them. She went around for hours, wondering what she should do. She returned home past her curfew, but never told her mother, lest it hurt her. But that day, she lost all respect for her father. She blackmailed him for years until she left home, threatening to tell her mother the truth if he tried to be unreasonably strict with her.

A true story, as told to Elsie Ijorogu-Reed and Kirthi Jayakumar

Bayo's Story

He arrived in the United Kingdom in the summer of 2003. Funnily enough, it was the hottest summer recorded in a long time.

He had with him, just 200 pounds and a dream.

All set to stay at his Aunt’s place, he smelt trouble the moment he set foot inside the house. He wasn’t welcome – as simple as that. Time showed him the door, comfort and welcoming attitudes were conspicuous by their absence. He slept on the floor. He wasn’t allowed into certain rooms. He was not given the chance to enjoy the care of a family – it wasn’t even given to him.

200 pounds took him only so far. But in two days, he landed a job in Mc Donalds. Weeks passed by with him flipping burgers. One day, luck dawned on him. He took a chance and skipped work, running to a job fair where he got a job with O2 telecoms as a retail assistant. They paid little, but more than the folks at Mc Donalds for his nifty ways of flipping burgers. But the store manager hated his guts.

He retailed and retailed, and retailed, and retailed some more. Education knocked on his doors, this time, asking for some space in his life. He enrolled in University for a multimedia course. And the store manager hated him even more.

At home, he was under the iron-fist of hatred and control. An 8:00 pm curfew was imposed. But because he was so far back in his studies, he had to stay in the library till late. When he came home, he would be locked out. Once, twice, several times. And then he got smart. He eventually devised a system where he would study until late and go to night clubs till the early hours of the morning. And from there, he would head to school or work. Sometimes, he spent the night in a telephone booth.

Luck still decided to send clouds his way. Upon graduation he didn’t get any work and was disillusioned. He quit the job at O2, and devoted his time to getting a job. To the wealthy relatives he had, he was a joke. Broke, hungry and on the verge of being kicked out, he surrendered to God and asked him to help out.

He moved out, slept in a friend’s house, on his sitting room floor. He took up a job at a call centre. He would cold call people to buy things they didn’t need. He had a degree in Architecture, but no one hired him. He tried, he tried, he tried and he tried some more.

One morning he got a call to attend an interview outside London, with a huge property developers design unit. By now he had attended so many interviews and gotten the 'we'll be in touch' response that he really didn’t want to go this time. But he did.

He picked up his heavy portfolio, and ran to catch his train. But the train was delayed. He went in late for his interview, but life was waiting for him, to happen. At the interview they talked design, multimedia and music! And the job, the job was his. In the middle, somewhere, he also moonlighted as a musician, recording a UK Top 3 track.

He climbed steps then, one, two, three, one by one by one by one. And slowly made his way to the top – the much coveted top rung. From Minimum wage and Sleeping on floors, he got his Masters and Salary hikes. A long arduous ride, he even got to go back to the McDonalds where he once worked to grab a bite and several workers were still there.

He looks back now. He respects them for making an honest living. But the darkest hours were there. It felt a million miles away now

As told to Elsie Ijorogu-Reed and Kirthi Jayakumar