Tuesday 13 December 2011

The Woman Is A Girl (Story of Child Brides) Part 2

Not every marriage lasts forever, but early marriage has lifelong consequences for girls.

Every day, teenage girls are forced into marriage with older men without their consent. And if the marriage goes wrong and they run away from their marital home to seek help from their mother and father, they are frequently rejected.

Once, there was a girl with small dreams. And later on there was a woman who had big dreams but life was short and hopes were shattered, punches were strong and bones easily scattered.
There are several things about marriage that a girl should feel before knowing. Things like that need for being held, that urge to call the guys name or even that white dress; yes that requires its own time. But many girls don't get the chance to feel any of those. Sayeh was only six when she was forced to marry her 54-year-old husband for a small amount of money offered to her parents; a man twice her father's age. For him it was like he had bought the wife and the daughter in one. She had her first abortion before even knowing what pregnancy was. "A living thing inside me?" was what she first told her neighbor when she explained it to her. She forgot about the pain and cried of shock instead. "World is such a cruel place, I'm goanna change this hell!"
Karim had a heart attack before even getting to see his child. Experiencing death of the one whom you've spend half of your short life with can be damaging but having dead bodies in yours is even worse. Long story short, Sayeh committed suicide on her 12th birthday. Not a big surprise to me.

The narrated piece is not fictional and I'm not proud to be the one telling you this but there are more than many girls all around us who are sentenced to marriage which in my point of view is as scary as being sentenced to death. There are even more than many men in their 50s who choose their last wives as girls. I'm going to tell you why some men marry children.

Married men, who pursue young girls, are not after love, they are after conquests. They may be successful or have powerful positions but they are in some ways insecure. They are out to prove they are still attractive and there is no better way to do that than to win the adoration of unsuspecting young girls. Young girls may be encouraged to marry older men, due to the perception that an older husband will be able to act as a guardian against behavior deemed immoral and inappropriate.

Some believe that older men feel rejuvenated when they marry younger women. On the other hand, it could be a test that a man is still attractive to younger, beautiful women.

Dominant notions of morality and honor are important factors encouraging the practice of child marriage. These are influenced great by the importance placed on maintaining 'family honor' and the high value placed on a girl's virginity. It is considered that shame would be cast on a family if a girl was not a virgin when she marries. Therefore, in order to ensure that a girl's virtue remains intact, girls may be married earlier, in order to ensure their virginity.



From years of dealing with victims of marriage as children, despite the fact that I am not married, I consider myself a married child. I deeply believe that as long as girls are forced to get married before reaching puberty and against their will, and as long as men rule the world of marriage and living with a person as grown up partners, we are all victims of discrimination and uncivilization. In fact, we are all married to the shame of living on a planet that bares such dishonest bond between two human beings.

1 comment:

  1. What a piece, Ela! The last few lines simply haunt me: " I deeply believe that as long as girls are forced to get married before reaching puberty and against their will, and as long as men rule the world of marriage and living with a person as grown up partners, we are all victims of discrimination and uncivilization. In fact, we are all married to the shame of living on a planet that bares such dishonest bond between two human beings." You are a brilliant writer, Ela.
    <3
    Kirthi

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