Child
sexual abuse is not a curse that afflicts a certain section of society,
or country or race or group. Everywhere there are cases reported of
children who have either suffered sexual abuse or came within a hair's
breadth of being abused. But then there are so many cases that are not
reported, and the child goes through life bearing this dark secret and
the trauma associated with it.
In
studying and analyzing cases of child sexual abuse, I have come across
two major findings. Although, I am well aware of the fact, that a number
of people who have researched on this social stigma have also come to
the same conclusions. The first is that in more than 90 percent of cases
involving child sexual abuse; the molester has been someone whom the
child trusted, like a family member, a family friend, teacher, neighbor,
etc. The other fact is that the child molested has been either
neglected by the family, especially the parents, before they were
molested and tried to confide in them. It's the child who has been told
not to make accusations, and been told very strictly not to mention or
repeat this story. This makes a child live in fear and lose confidence
in their parents. Especially the parent they feel closer too.
This
neglect by parents to actually listen to the child and protect them and
punish the molester is one of the major causes of child sexual abuse.
Parents must realize that listening to a child in stress, believing what
they are telling them and making sure they don’t get abused is their
first and foremost duty. 'Oh your uncle is not like this', 'don’t talk
nonsense your cousin is only showing his affection for you'. Such
platitudes from parents just make the child look for other people to
confide their feeling with. Parents who worry more about face saving
among relatives and friends at the cost of their children living in fear
of being molested are utter fools, and shows they know nothing about
parenting. If a parent feels that the child is lying; who is to blame?
It’s the parents fault if they have taught the child to lie.
Parents
are responsible for every action of their off springs and just feeding
and clothing and educating them is not enough. Their physical well-being
is also the duty of parents.
By Zafar Ihsan
No comments:
Post a Comment