By:
Megan Bird
As we go through life, from
childhood to adulthood, we are continually learning the different meanings of
control. We learn how to control our lives, self-control, our manners, and our
pets. One method of control that can become detrimental is the control of
others. This takes us to the use of control within relationships.
A relationship between two people is
made up of self-control and mutual respect for one another, among other things. When the element of control greatly favors one side over
another, it creates the environment of an abusive relationship. This abuse does
not always come in the form of physical abuse, but that of emotional abuse.
A boyfriend takes his girlfriend to
school one day. Instead of dropping her off and coming to pick her up at the
end of the day, he waits. He waits for her in the school parking lot for seven
hours until she is ready to leave. Why does he wait? She is safe at school, she
has limited to no temptation to be unfaithful there. The reason is due to the
boyfriend’s incessant need for control in the relationship. His need for
control comes from his own insecurities, not his girlfriends. Her insecurities
only give her the ability to withstand the control.
In some instances of control, it can
regulate every aspect of a partner’s life. What they wear, where they go, and
what they do. No matter how innocent it may be, the slightest rebellion against
this control can cause the controller’s insecurities to flair, which then can
lead to emotional or physical abuse. This is not a problem for adult
relationships only, but can be seen starting in teenage relationships as well.
As we work hard battling physical
violence, we must remember those silent attackers, like emotional abuse. Just
because a man does not hit a woman, doesn’t mean he isn’t abusive. Control is
powerful, and the only control there should be, is the control of our own
lives.
No comments:
Post a Comment