Her Vagina is not Angry

On Sunday April 27^th I went to see a fantastic rendition of Eve Ensler’s The Vagina Monologues here in Busan, Korea. I decided to ask one of the participants about her role in the show. She has chosen to stay anonymous because of some backlash she might face about her sexual orientation. She asked to be called ‘Ryn’ (cute, right).

1) First things first, why the Vagina Monologues?

I chose to do the Vagina Monologues because I really believe in the cause. The whole V-Day campaign focuses on globally ending violence against women. I have been so fortunate in my life to have the support network that I do, and I want to make sure that I do everything I can to make sure other women have that network.

2) What was your favorite thing about doing the show?

My favorite thing about the show was the rehearsals. Everyone would roll in and we would have just sharing moments or snuggle moments or just time to get to know one another. The community of women involved in the show is truly phenomenal.

3) You managed to raise a good chunk of money for a few charities. What can you tell me about the women's shelters?

One of the shelters is for women and children who have escaped domestic violence. I have found that, oftentimes, Korea tolerates domestic violence much more than in the west, at least in my hometown. There are no times in which beating your partner or child is acceptable. And so, I wish to raise money for women and children to help them free themselves that lifestyle.

The other shelter is for women who have exited the sex trade. So many women are propositioned to work as “factory women” or “seamstresses,” etc, but instead are sold into sex slavery. This shelter provides a safe space in which these women can heal, learn, and reintegrate into society.

4) What's your take on “One Billion Rising”?

I think that it absolutely breaks my heart that over 1 billion women on this planet have suffered. Personally, I really struggle with the idea of rising individually. I question how much impact my solo voice has. I stand on my soap box advocating women’s rights, gender equity, and human dignity, But,really, I am not doing anything but shouting. I think 1 Billion Rising gives me an outlet—a place to do something. And, I am always down for a dance party.

5) Why did you choose “The Flood”?

I didn’t choose it, actually. The director chose it for me. I did have some specific monologues I did not want to do because they hit a bit too closely to home, and I think I would have had a difficult time separating “Ryn” from my character.

I had problems developing my character for The Flood. The basic premise of my monologue is an old woman who is very nervous to talk about her "down theres." She likens it to a cellar, and struggles to see the beauty of the vagina. She also discusses her first kiss that caught her off guard, and "there was a flood--down there." The boy who kissed her was not impressed and made fun of her, which led to "the idea of flooding [making her] too nervous, [so she] never even got close again." This part of the monologue broke my heart. It isn't forceful sexual violence or abuse, but offhanded and emotional. A boy made a young girl feel embarrassed about something natural and uncontrollable (and, frankly, awesome). It made her self-conscious and unable to have a happy, healthy sexual identity.

As a woman who has an open and fluid sexual identity, I forget that there are so many women who do not have that luxury. So many women of my mother's, grandmother's generation never had the opportunity to become sexual beings--as opposed to the societally appropriate child-bearing vessels. It is our responsibility as educated and/or progressive women to reclaim our sexuality and make it something we want it to be, rather than something someone else expects.

6) Korea can be extremely anti-homosexual at times. What has your experience as a lesbian been like?

My experience as a lesbian in the ex-patriot community is pretty rad. I don’t ever hide that part of me, and I have found that the ex-pat community is much more open-minded about sexuality. They may not agree with it, but they also are not holding onto the last straw of hope that I will fall in love with a man.

In the Korean community, it is so much more difficult. It isn’t even recognized. There are so many men and women who are closeted for fear of never getting a job, disownment from their families, etc.

What is more interesting is the lesbian culture within Koreans. Personally, I hate the terms “butch” and “femme,” so I will use “Pants” and “Pumps” instead, okay? Within the Korean lesbian community, generally you can only be Pants or only be Pumps. Pants very often will only date Pumps. They try so hard to still fit into the male/female stigma of this country. One partner very clearly being the “man” in the relationship, one clearly being the “woman.”  There is no room for the versatility we have in the western culture. Of course, the west definitely has a Pants and Pumps dichotomy, however, there is a lot more flexibility. Personally, I am in the middle. There are many days when I rock converse, skinnys, button down, and a lady vest, but I also love wearing dresses and skirts and scarves. When I was talking to a Korean lesbian about this, she was astounded that I would even consider wearing both types of clothing. I explained that in the States, we do not have to pretend to be one man and one woman for society to be okay with us. Sometimes, society isn’t okay with us as two women, but that isn’t something for which I am willing to change myself.

7) Any extra fun stories from when you ladies were preparing for the show?

There was one Sunday when EVERYONE but me was a bit fragile from the previous night. We had a plan to do a run through and small group practices, but it just ended up turning into a giant cuddlefest/chat session. This really brought us together and cemented some pretty stellar friendships.

8) The most powerful performance for me was about the Korean comfort women. What can you say about that piece?

You mean, I didn't knock your socks off, Matt? What a shame.

I can say a lot of things about this piece. I know that men have been using rape as a tactic of war for hundreds of thousands of years. We don't learn about that in history class, or if we do, it is introduced glossed over as, "Oh, this happened" and we move onto the "real" parts of war. However, this monologue brings to light the repercussions of using women for sexual needs. It discusses the living conditions, desire for death, and necessity for recognition. I was able to keep my emotions in check when the actors said horrific things like, "Sometimes they didn't even take off their clothes...just took out their penis" or "do it even when we bleed" or "Things we could not do...keep my baby." What I could not handle was the last minutes of the performance when the women, in unison, shout, "Say it...Sorry...outside the Japanese embassy every Wednesday...Say it...To me...Sorry...To me...Sorry".

In discussing the monologue with the performers, one of the women said that Korea's culture is so much a communal culture that the Comfort Women were everyone's mother, every one's grandmother. And, so it touches on a part of their history that is still so raw and bleeding. Every time I watched that piece, I felt like an intruder looking in on a piece of history that was so private and holy--something I would never understand.

9) What's your favorite color?

My favorite color is cerulean. It is the only crayon I refuse to lend out. I have only seen in once in real live nature, and it blew my mind.

10) How do you think the Vagina Monologues has helped female sexual liberty/ sexuality?

I think that the Vagina Monologues brings awareness to necessary discussions about vaginas. It is very true that many women get squicky talking about their vaginas, as if we are ashamed of them. It also sparks a lot of conversations between partners about their sexual organs. I think that showing over 300 men and women in our community that Vaginas are not scary and that we need to love and respect them is important. Vagina Monologues also highlights the importance of rising against sexual slavery.

11）If you could only listen to one of the monologues for the rest of your life, which one would you choose?

CUNT!!! I think that it is a brilliant deconstruction of a very pejorative word. I think that words for Vagina (pussy, twat, etc) should never be used to bully. Equally, I think that dick should be taken out of the vernacular as a pejorative, but then again, I would have to completely modify my own vocabulary. I do love a good dick joke.

12) Famous last words?

I refuse to stand by and watch as billions of women suffer violence because of their gender. Strike. Dance. Rise.

By Matthew Ariss

North of Reason

I had the opportunity to listen to a North Korean refugee speak at a lecture in Busan. Hundreds of us sat there, all photography banned for fear of retribution on her extended family by North Korean hackers, waiting anxiously to hear her story. This timid, unsure woman spent over an hour describing the horrors she had seen. She told us of her life in North Korea, of her family and her village. She told us of her mother and sister who had gone missing in their own attempt to flee and of the death of her father, which finally gave her the freedom to attempt her escape. She told us about her path to the Chinese border, the ordeals and the friends that she made. And then she wouldn't tell us about anything else until she the time she arrived in Korea. This time she spent in China, the time we were most curious about, is the one part she could not share. I'm not sure if it was because she wanted to protect those that helped her along, or if it because it was still so fresh in her mind, but her she maintained her silence despite the soft prods of the crowd. Her story was daunting; it was hard to even listen to - I can’t imagine having lived it. Unfortunately, this is a horror than many North Korean women face.

The recent military situation has reminded me of this talk I heard over a year ago. We read so much about how war could affect the Americans and the South Koreans, the Chinese and even the Taiwanese, but we forget to think about how much this war could affect those in the North, what they have to lose from this ordeal. Or gain.

The role of women in North Korea, those not fortunate enough to be associated with the military elite, is precarious at best. They face many of the same troubles as their male counterparts, but many of their own as well. The law of the land calls them equals. Everyone must work, for the benefit of the nation, but their duties differ greatly. After men finish their military service, they are mostly put to work in the government, or in heavy labour. Here the work can be unreliable, and the pay more so. Men can go months at a time without being allowed to go into their jobs because there is no work to be done, and are forced to pay many times their salaries to help the struggling companies. This leaves no money for their families, so the women must work. Women are now in control the private, and highly illegal, sector. They smuggle meat, fruit and vegetables, grow secret gardens and sell secret crafts. They make deals across the Chinese border, and their husbands, the "lights of daytime" mope, or do what small jobs they can on the side. This does not make them immune to the physical abuse unfortunately. These women are the ones making the money, and this makes their husbands angry. And violent. Spousal abuse is the norm, not even hidden from neighbours. But the women, they are gaining power. They are the breadwinners, and they are starting to demand respect. It is a curious irony that it is only when the nation is so impoverished, so broken that it cannot feed its own people, that women finally begin to gain some clout. Men without wives become beggars, and so the men are learning to bow their heads and show a little respect. They women are still beat down, but they are finding their voices.

Ri Sol Ju, Kim Jong Un's wife, has been a veiled light in North Korea, though she has not gone without punishment. She is beautiful and intelligent, currently working on her PhD in sciences at the Kim Il-Sung University. In 2012, standing by her husband’s side, she wore a 2 piece suit - a far cry from the traditional garb that women are supposed to wear. On it she pinned a flower broach where the red Kim lapel should have been.  A small thing, but large changes begin with small actions.

Most North Korean women are not so fortunate. Many are slaves to the regime, and many others are locked away in prisons, trucks and even bags, heading in ignorance to places they can’t even fathom. Every year tens of thousands of women are trafficked into China for prostitution and forced marriage. Some are tricked by men offering to help them find work across the border or safe passage to South Korea, some are sold by their families to provide food for the other children, and some are blatantly kidnapped by men who can afford to bribe the right people. These women can sell for 1500$, more if they are desirable enough. They are shipped all over China, sold to men desperate for wives, or shut into brothels where they are forced to service entire villages. Some who are forced into marriage might even be better off than they were in North Korea, a sad and sick irony. They might find themselves with 3 meals a day, and a husband who only occasionally beats them. But still, this is not a choice. Others may be sold to a group of men who were forced to pool their money together, because each on his own is unable to come up with the necessary fee. Then she must care for all of the men, clean all of their houses, make all of their food and satisfy each of their sexual desires. She can try to escape, but where would she go? There is a whole village that wants to keep her there, she has no legal papers and she cannot speak the language. If she goes to the police they might help her, but help means being sent back to North Korea where she will be imprisoned for fleeing the country, or they might just sell her off to the next buyer.

Women in North Korea hold the same legal rights as men. Technically.  Functionally they have a lot less and ultimately neither sex really has any. War isn’t going to happen, but I wonder what it would mean for the women of North Korea if Kim Jong Un made a move? What little law exists in North Korea would fall apart. I expect this would be almost exclusively beneficial for these women. Their black-market skills would become even more crucial and in this way they would gain power. The porous Chinese border would be shut off and in this way they would gain freedom. Some would take up arms and fight with their male counterparts. Others would escape in the chaos. And when Kim Jong Un fell, and the North was forced to open up to the rest of the world, the women of North Korea would gain opportunities that they don’t even know are possible. I don’t want to see any anyone die and I certainly don’t want to see war break out, especially nuclear war. But I can’t help but think of all the benefits for the people of this small, unstable country. For years the countries of the world have been feeding the North’s army with stolen humanitarian supplies. What could we do to actually help the people?

http://www.npr.org/2012/12/28/168193827/out-of-desperation-north-korean-women-become-breadwinners

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/dec/11/women-north-korea-men-jobs

http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2012/08/19/north-korea-human-traffickers-and-the-chinese-market-for-brides.html

Breathing and Birthing

Condoms can be traced back 5000 years to ancient Egypt. They were made of animal hide or intestine, and lacked modern day sophistication, but still had the same purpose. The condom’s popularity has waxed and waned, but people have never stopped trying to control their reproductive destinies. Many ancient populations realized the effects that different medicines have upon pregnancy and would use plants ranging from common cotton to Queen Anne’s lace (easily mistaken for Hemlock, which is just straight up bad for you) to prevent or dispose of unwanted pregnancies. Through urban myth, abortion, infanticide and penny potions we have steadily produced more and more efficient ways of waiting until the time is right.

The most common form of birth control in our modern world is the IUD, primarily used in Europe and Asia. The non-hormonal form is highly effective, with minor risks. It prevents pregnancy by stopping the fertilized egg from attaching to the uterine walls. There is also a hormonal form of the IUD, which is by far the most effective form of birth control out there. In North America the most common form of birth control is the pill.

Since the pill became legal there has been a significant amount of research done about the hormonal effects on women, and for the most part it seems the outcomes have been extremely positive. Birth control has been shown to significantly decrease both ovarian and endometrial cancer, up to 80% for those who have been on it for 10 years or more, and gives only a slight increase to the chance of cervical cancer, a chance that bases out soon after stopping birth control. Birth control has also been shown to help stabilize mood swings, and help clear up bad skin. There are risks – blood clots and weight gain (a difficulty losing weight would be more accurate) but these risks are significantly lower than a pregnant woman would suffer. There’s also the risk of sexual problems: muted orgasm, reduced sex drive and pain during sex, all of which would be no fun. Many women, however, feel the benefits of the pill, most especially related to fertility, greatly outweigh the risks. Modern science has created a variety of ways to get the necessary hormones; vaginal rings, patches, and injections; as well as many non-hormonal forms of birth control such female condoms, plan B, diaphragms and tubal litigation, and research is always continuing to make better products.

The richer a country gets, the more its birthrate tends to drop. Most of Africa has been experiencing population explosions. Africa is home to roughly 1/7^th of the world’s population, but it is estimated that half of the people born in the next 40 years will be African. This is a subject of great contestation between people all over the world. Many, such as Melinda Gates, think it is important to allow Africans the opportunity to curb this massive growth. She has helped billions of dollars be funded into birth control options for women in developing nations. Many Africans, however, consider this meddling in African affairs to be yet another form of imperialistic control which skitters the human rights line. Some have even stated that her actions execute forms of gender bias and eugenics. This side of the argument thinks that Africans should be allowed to solve their own problems, and educate people in the way they see fit. Many African countries, especially Nigeria, are hoping to soon become world powers and see this money as yet another way for rich nations of the world to curb African progress.

There are many other problems that come into play with birth control in Africa. Safe disposal of the drugs, for example. Not only would excess birth control pills need to be disposed of, but the hormones which women excrete during urination would be introduced into the water system. A Canadian study mimicked the effect that the pill has in urban cities by placing similar quantities of the pill into a secluded lake. Almost 1/3 of the male fish exposed to these high levels of estrogen were found with eggs in their testes. Easy access to birth control also runs the risk of forcing African countries to deal with problem of aging populations. In many other countries in the world pensions are beginning to run out and many young people are beginning to feel the burden of caring for seniors.

Many Africans argue that instead of spending billions of dollars on birth control the money should instead go to food programs, education and micro-businesses, as well as programs that protect abused women; the ones victimized by prostitution, forced marriages and violence; rather than women who are concerned with how many children they will have. Many others argue that programs should exist that emphasize chastity (this has been tried in many countries, notably America, and it has failed miserably, but who knows if it might not work better in a different culture.) These people are afraid that birth control will lead to infidelity, disease and neighborhoods that lack the soothing sound of children’s laughter.

Pro-birth control advocates, however, have some powerful arguments. 358,000 women and 3 million newborns die each year worldwide due to pregnancy and childbirth. 10 to 15 percent of those numbers are believed to be deaths caused by unsafe abortions. 49 million unintended pregnancies every year result in 21 million abortions, many of which are also unsafe because of restrictive laws. In many countries women do not or cannot choose contraception because of health fears (most of which are erroneous), culturally infused biases, lack of access (some must travel days to the nearest city to find adequate preventative measures), high cost and opposition from their partners and society. Women get pregnant and must deal with the consequences: either the emotional consequences of an abortion, or the emotional and financial consequences of a child. Overpopulation is another growing concern. It is getting harder and harder to feed so many people, and the environmental side-effects of our rampant reproduction are beginning to be noticed. Some argue that ‘necessity is the mother of invention’ and future generations will find solutions, but this seems to be a half-analyzed argument. Knowingly creating problems for our descendants to deal with creates a system of problem-dodging which can only lead to a cataclysmic dead-end.

It’s a strange thing that seems to happen when women are allowed to decide whether or not they will have children. Women on birth control are more likely to finish school. And when they do decide to have children they are more likely to be financially and emotionally prepared. Their children reap the benefits of their parents patience and are more likely themselves to do better in life. These women who were allowed to choose what happens in their bodies are also able to further their careers, and advance the state of women as a whole. Imagine if the need for contraception that exists were met; imagine there were 53 million less unplanned pregnancies, 25 million less abortions, and 7 million less miscarriages. Imagine saving the lives of tens of thousands of women per year as well as averting hundreds of thousands of newborn deaths. Imagine women that could have sex freely, without the monthly worry of an unwanted child; women who weren’t forced to abstain because they already have one child, and they aren’t quite ready for a second.

Birth control is generally considered to be a ‘woman’s issue’. The only realistic options for men at this juncture are condoms and vasectomies. Condoms are just an all around good idea, but are by no means perfect, some reports give them a failure rate as high as 15%. Vasectomies, with a little squirming room for doctor error and the body’s incredible ability to heal, are incredibly effective.  Almost 100% effective. Which is too effective. Vasectomies are a terrible short-term choice. They are difficult to reverse, and doing so can cause a myriad of problems. Unless a man knows without any doubt that he will never, ever have children a vasectomy is a risky option.

Cue RISUGs (Reversible Inhibition of Sperm Under Guidance), the current leader of which is known as Vasalgel: an almost 100% effective, cheap, reliable, fully reversible form of birth control for men that has been around for almost 30 years. Doctors have figured out a way to inject a polymer gel into the vas deferens which, over the course of a couple of days, creates a sperm shredding tube around the inner lining. The procedure takes about 15 minutes, lasts 10 years and costs less than 100$. Think of how many babies people could not have for 100$! Trials are currently happening in India, with hopes that the product will be available to the rest of the world by 2015. 25 years of tests have shown the procedure to be safe for both humans and animals. Ready to have babies? Another quick shot, this time baking soda and water, flushes out the system and within 3 months it’s baby making time. Did I mention that there’s also some evidence that RISUGs simultaneously kills off HIV?

I’ve heard good and bad things about pills and IUDs. Some of my friends couldn’t go without them, and I have no babies so I’m a big fan. But there’s always the fear that something went wrong. The fear that the one day my girlfriend forgot to take her pill was our undoing, or that the pill had slowly been making her sick. I’m sure there’s some risk involved with RISUGs, but they seem insignificant to the many of the risks that women have to take with hormone control. And you can’t beat the convenience, one shot every ten years. This quick procedure could work miracles, especially in places where going to get birth control every couple of months is a hassle. Most importantly it puts some of the burden of reproductive responsibility on men. It isn’t enough that we just carry around a condom and call it a day.

I’m not saying everybody should use birth control. If people want to have eight babies and they have the means to support them, then they should have a great time. But if people don’t want children then options should be available to them. And if that’s their choice then Vasalgel is an incredible preventative measure. Birth control can save lives. It can make lives easier. It allows people to make choices, and divides responsibility. Tell your husbands. Tell your boyfriends. Tell your brothers, your cousins, your nieces and nephews. Tell everyone. The onus of responsible procreation is on all of us.

Wanna see a fun, nutritional example of how Vasalgel works? Click on the link below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zAYSr-mAoM0

And some other stuff

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/03/male-birth-control-reversible_n_1400708.html

http://feastoffun.com/topics/health-wellness/2011/06/16/male-contraceptive-may-have-potential-for-preventing-hiv-transmission/

http://www.ewtnnews.com/catholic-news/US.php?id=6002

http://www.crisismagazine.com/2011/africa-needs-population-growth-not-birth-control

http://www.globalization101.org/the-battle-over-birth-control-for-developing-nations/

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/992171

http://pphsinc.wordpress.com/2011/06/17/a-look-into-global-access-to-birth-control/

http://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/birth-control-side-effects?cat=16350

http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=52188

Matthew Ariss

TV – You’re Doing it Right

Television is arguably the single most influential artistic means of the 20th century. It is all encompassing, bordering on invasive, but it almost uniformly loved. There are two televisions for every three people in America, and even where this excess does not exist televisions are generally accessible. Television has helped take down dictators, revealed corruption, amused children and captivated audiences; people can be found for hours on end lost in the meditative trance that TV promotes, or screaming at their televisions when their football team loses an important game, something they would have no way of seeing otherwise. It is hard to calculate how much effect television has on us, but the effect, even for those who are rare viewers, is undeniable.

TV acts as a double edged sword in our society; it is both a mirror of our current values and a subtle teacher, slowly influencing our thoughts and opinions in all aspects of life. Equality is one of the more traceable aspects and TV has unintentionally chronicled the evolution of women’s place in society, the workplace and the family. Each generation of producers, actors and writers has pushed the envelope farther and shown more risqué things, just like women have done in daily life. Once upon a wonder it was unimaginable for a pregnant women to be shown on TV, but Lucille Ball eventually helped us move past that taboo. The Flinstones showed the first images of a man and wife in bed, and once that was finished another taboo popped up. Each one was dashed away with a few episodes of controversy as women went through being able to then hold jobs on TV, being main roles and finally becoming leaders and role models. This, as all things do, has come at a price, with modern television women almost always either living in the extreme of positive role models or over-sexualized weaklings and uptight dominatrixes. We will discuss a few of the former women in this article, the women who have fought against small-mindedness and have been people that we can admire. We will discuss a few of the women that helped topple the taboos, and a few who are still showing their stuff, ones that you should be watching now.

One of the first notable shows, “I Love Lucy”, was created by and starred the immortal Lucille Ball. The show allowed Ball to both continue her acting career, while simultaneously have a family, as her husband played one of the male roles. “I Love Lucy” was one of the first shows to center its story around a woman, a hard working house wife. Lucille Ball also made history by helping to create an innovative 3 camera technique, which is still commonly used in modern shows. Ball is one of the first of the great TV actresses and her legacy continues today.

Murphy Brown is a show that held great influence in my own youth. While I didn’t understand the importance of what was happening in the show, nor did I know anything of the political controversy that the show inspired, I did notice the powerful presence which was portrayed by the character the show is named after. Murphy Brown was witty, smart, and hardworking. She was shown as a character with a heart-wrenching flaw, she was a recovering alcoholic, but who had overcome her demons and became stronger for it. Murphy Brown’s main controversy was her desire to be a single working mother. This choice even spurred comment for the current vice-presidential candidate Dan Quayle, who commented that the show ignored the importance of fathers. The show powered on, and helped make the argument that women are not needy creatures.

These are just two of the multitude of shows that have helped form and been influenced by women’s rights in the past 70 years, but let’s discuss a few shows that you should be watching now. Like right now. Instead of reading this. even.

30 Rock is one of my favorites. The show stars (and was created by) Tina Fey as the strange and sad at love, but cool in all of the right ways, Liz Lemon. As the Head Writer of TGS (The Girlie Show) Lemon shows, time and again, that women have the stuff to lead. She works hard, she’s passionate and caring, she’s a good friend and, best of all, the woman will can cause spleen rupturing laughter. She looks for love, but is never desperate to find it, she is ambitious, but not ruthless, and did I mention that she’s hilarious?

Miranda is the quintessential British show (according to my limited Canadian perspective) starred by the quintessential British comedian. Miranda Hart is fully aware of what society would call her faults, and she isn’t afraid to make fun of them in her self-titled comedy. She is clumsy and large and socially awkard, but what shines through more than these alleged flaws is her enchanting quirkiness and luminescent wit. In the show Miranda opens a joke shop, despite the risks, and represents the value of doing what you love, rather than what you’re told.   

Parks and Recreation is my favorite show on TV right now. It is filled to the brim with quality characters, and their zany leader, Leslie Knope, continuously proves her unending wonderfulness. The mockumentary chronicles her progress through the world of small town American politics, from departmental worker, to mayor, and mayhaps someday to female president. She is a powerful woman, passionate and unstoppable, who does what is right even at the risk of her own happiness. She works hard to fix her town’s obesity problem, deals with her lackluster boss and makes me laugh even more than our good friend Liz Lemon.

Role-models can be found everywhere; television is a fantastic place to both relax and be inspired. If you gain nothing else from this post go and watch Parks and Recreation. Not the first season, you can google right past that, start with season 2. Make sure you’re loaded up on snacks, find a comfy spot and prepare not to leave the couch for the rest of the day.

By Matthew Ariss

Opening Doors for Women

A few weeks ago one of my friends was telling me about an initiative at her church to get more of the church leaders dating and married. To change things up a bit the women ask out the men, and the man has to say yes, no matter who it is, to at least the first three women that ask him out. I was surprised and delighted by this incredibly progressive sounding idea. Men almost always ask the women on dates, and this archaic ritual leftover from the days of chivalry has always confused me. This was a chance for some of the shyer men at her church to show off their qualities in an intimate situation and skip the burdensome hurdle of initiating the date, or maybe go on a date with someone that they would not regularly have considered.
She continued on, telling me that the men would pay for the dates and...I stopped her there. “Surely the woman should pay for the date, as she is the one doing the asking?” I queried. I would never ask anyone, male or female, to do something and then stare at them expectantly when the bill appeared. She told me that the point of the initiative was to show that men should value women. I was a bit taken aback. This seemingly progressive situation had just taken a dire turn for the worse. Assigning 'value' to women didn't really seem to make sense. As the conversation continued I learned that, as these dates turned into dating, the men were strongly encouraged to save up a certain amount of money before bringing the relationship to a more serious level. So if men want to get the churches blessing for a marriage proposal they must save up thousands of dollars, and the women...nada. Saving is good, don't get me wrong, especially if you're heading into something as serious as marriage, but I was confused as to why both parties wouldn't be encouraged to have money in the bank. All of this seemed wrong to me. This wasn't equality. Don't get me wrong, it's significantly, undeniably, remarkably better than a man choosing his wife without any regard for her opinion, or a couple starting out destitute on day one. But it seemed to me that if you start the marriage in this manner, with the man already taking up the role of sole financial provider, doesn't that set up the tone for the entire marriage? How can there be equality in the marriage if he is taking care of her from the beginning. And what will little Suzy think when she learns that her father wears the financial pants?
The women of this church that I have met seem pretty smart, so I'm confident that none of them would walk into a marriage situation completely dependent on their husband-to-be, but I'm curious why the church is so one-sided.

I'm willing to bet that some of you that read this paragraph thought of me, at least momentarily, as a cowardly cheapskate. I am neither of those things (at least I don't think I am), but don't doubt that I asked myself that same question a dozen times while writing this. But that’s what makes this all so insidious, the fine line between striving for equality and imagining offense where there really is none.  As fortune would have it a few days ago I stumbled upon an article aptly titled 'Benevolent Sexism' by Katherine Connell which made me feel a little better about all this. Benevolent sexism isn't a new idea, though it is to me, but it seems to spell out exactly what I was thinking when I had this conversation. The article, and other sources, offer up some of the many ways kindness by men towards women can (not always, but can) actually just be a guise for the sexist mentality which I feel this church is endorsing.

The effects of benevolent sexism are definitely enjoyable in the short-term. One article offered up the example of an elderly woman who didn't like to drive on the busy streets of Miami, so she had her husband drive for her. She grew up in a small town, and that's where she had her family. She had no problems driving there because the roads were safe and organized. When her children moved out she and her husband retired and decided to move, as many old folk do, to Florida. She found Miami driving to be intimidating, there were too many freeways and overpasses, and everyone was always in a hurry, so she had her husband do all the driving. He took this on this task stoically because in our society driving is a man’s duty. The driving situation worked fine at the beginning, they didn't know many people, and so the would spend most of their time together, but as they made more friends are started to have separate lives it became a problem. She found that it began to affect her social life; if her husband was busy and none of her friends could come get her, then she was stuck at home. If she needed to run to the store, but her husband was otherwise occupied, then she was out of luck. She lost agency in her own life, and started to get depressed, all because she now relied on her husband for something that she had done for so long on her own. What started out as a husband doing a nice thing for his wife actually ended up hurting her.
Agency is the key word here. It seems to me that benevolent sexism simply leads to women who are incapable or unwilling to do things they are fully capable of. Changing the oil of a car is not difficult, a step by step description can be found with a simple Google search for virtually any car imaginable, but I have female friends that have never, and likely will never do it because they consider it man's work. Somebody, somewhere instilled this belief in them, and they probably did it with an offhanded comment and a kind offer to do it for them. Maybe this small example doesn’t matter much, I expect my friends will always have someone who is willing to help them, but it’s just one more drop in the ocean of inequality

South Korea, my current country of residence, offers up another example of benevolent sexism which is causing nothing but discord: the male-only mandatory military service. Every man has to spend two years in the military some time in his early twenties; sometimes they do it after university, and sometimes they take a break from their studies to do their time, but all men have to do it. With North Korea nearby and constantly digging 'coal tunnels' and shooting off 'communications rockets' it makes sense for South Korea to have a standing army. And the men are more than happy to do their two-year stint, not thinking, or not caring, about how this paints women as weak and unable to fight. This trickles down into every aspect of Korean society, men are strong, and women are dainty beautiful things. I've seen it at my own school. The students had a soccer tournament not long ago, and one of the ways that they evened out each classes opportunities, so that no team had too much of an advantage, was to force the girls to play at least a quarter of the game. Had these young women been told from a young age that they could play soccer just as well as the boys I have no doubt they would, but since they were young they have been told that boys play sports, and women chat on the sidelines. Women can play soccer, they can play it well. And women are fully capable of fighting. Look up the WASP's in WW2 to see how capable they are.

It is tricky all of this. My father raised me with benevolent sexism as the norm. Don't hit women. Carry heavy things for women. Open doors for women. In the long term these things hurt us as a society. They teach us that there are things women can't or shouldn't do. That's bad for men and women.

The conversation between my friend and I ended rather sourly, with my friend standing by the fact that she feels more valued by the men of her church than outside her church. That's the trouble, I think it's easy to ignore benevolent sexism when you're benefiting so much in the short-term. She does feel valued, and that's good, I just wish that her church members would show it in ways that aren't ultimately harmful. I'm not saying that people shouldn't be nice to each other, and I don't think that I shouldn't open doors for women. I just think that people should be nice to everyone.  We shouldn't teach our children 'don't hit women' we should teach them 'don't hit people'. We shouldn't teach anyone that they can't play sports, or that they can't fix their own car. People only have as many options as they believe they have, and we should encourage everyone to believe that anything is possible.

Here’s a KFC commercial that hits the nail on the head. I think she probably just needs nicer people in general in her life.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kaX-AF0-Fpw

And some other stuff
http://www.nationalreview.com/articles/335405/benevolent-sexism-katherine-connell#
http://www.reddit.com/r/AskFeminists/comments/12wfa7/is_this_an_example_of_benevolent_sexism/

Matthew Ariss

Feminnovators

In 1930 Ruth Wakefield, busy working hard to serve the customers at her toll booth restaurant, didn’t have time to melt the chocolate for her cookies, so she just broke it into chunks, threw it in the batter and went on with her merry business. In 1964 Stephanie Kwolek took a job to help her save for medical school, and ended up working with thread-like polymers. In 1810 Tabitha Babbitt saw the men in her Shaker community wasting precious effort sawing the wood they relied on. Without these lucky, dedicated and creative women we may never have had the chance to dip chocolate chip cookies in milk, watched people get shot only to stand up with a mere dent in their Kevlar vests, or had the circular saw save millions of hours of work every year. Women have had a long history of innovation, and that legacy continues today (hint: today’s buzzword is: innovation).

For the past four years different African countries have held the Maker Faire Africa, a conference where people can show off their innovative ideas to help solve the immediate problems and difficulties that the people of the world face. Ghana, Kenya, and Egypt have all had the privilege of hosting the event, and this year Nigeria took its turn. The intent is not simply to admire the ingenuity of the many attendees (and there are a fantastic amount) but also to support and propagate these ideas in hopes of creating real and lasting change. 

Those of you who know about the event have undoubtedly heard about four teenaged girls (Duro-Aina Adebola, Akindele Abiola, Faleke Oluwatoyin, and Bello Eniola) who have created a urine powered generator. And I’m going to discuss them some more. Because they’re awesome. Super awesome. The device uses urine, which is put into an electrolytic cell, to crack urea (CO(NH2)2) into nitrogen, water and hydrogen. The hydrogen is then purified by water and then pushed into a gas cylinder, then into another cylinder with liquid borax to dry the hydrogen out. The hydrogen is then pushed into the generator and then BOOM (except without with less excitement and more safety, so more like boooooooooooooooooom) the hydrogen is ignited like any other combustible fluid. As far as I know this process also makes some sweet, sweet H2O, so if it is done properly it could also work as a urine recycling device. As an added bonus all of these chemicals are relatively cheap, and easy to get a hold of.

The device is still in its prototype phase, which means there are a few hiccups. For one: some electricity is needed to create the hydrogen using the urea, which means that it cannot be used in areas with absolutely no access to electricity. At this point more electricity is used than is produced, but ultimately the device is more efficient than current methods of purification. Another problem is that the process creates chlorine along with hydrogen, so some of the hydrogen will be turned into a weak hydrochloric acid. This is bad for machines and especially bad for people. 

So...yes the idea does have a few problems, but I urge you to note that these are teenage girls, still in high school. When I was in high school I couldn’t even tie my shoe laces at a freshman level. Once these girls refine this device, their first mark on the world, their futures will be wide open. I am excited to see what other creations they have in store for us. 

I now direct your attention to another set of innovators, the creators of Maykah, toys for girls. Alice Brook, Bettina Chen and Jennifer Kessler are the brilliant minds behind this delightful new company.  These three women are exhausted by the gender stereotypes surrounding little girl’s toys, so they have decided to create their own toys. With science. And Math. And Creativity.

Their first toy, called Roominate, was an instant hit. They asked for a reasonable 25 000$ on kickstarter, but quickly sped past the meager amount and received over 85 000$ by the time they were finished. Roominate is a stackable, attachable and customizable room-building bonanza with electrical circuits (safe, of course) that a child can set up for themselves. It offers infinite possibilities for minds capable of infinite designs and gives little girls the opportunity to use their creativity in the male dominated fields of design, construction and electricity.

Little girls can build any room that their heart desires. Their website shows one child that built an airport cupcake store, another designed an adorable little pet shop. The toy not only helps the girls learn spatial reasoning and circuitry, but also allows them to think about the multitude of things they might do when they are adults. It allows them to consider the very real possibilities of being entrepreneurs themselves. Not to say that this toy is only for girls. If I had a daughter or a son I can assure you that we would be building a space room together. Or a shark room. Or a space-shark room. 

These three women come highly educated. It is because their backgrounds lay in the more male-dominated fields of mechanical and electrical engineering, math and cognitive science that they have chosen to fight for female ingenuity. They are smart enough to know that it is much harder to teach adults equality that to reinforce something that children start out believing: math and science can be just as fun as dolls. They stand as beacons of reason and logic, of education and the capabilities of both men and women.

The two groups of women are simply followers in a long line of female innovators and creative thinkers. They are fortunate to be born at this time, in these places, where they can take credit for their actions and inspire other women to follow after them. Innovation is not, and has never been solely the prerogative of men and the more we realize this, the sooner I will get to take my trip into space.

It’s too late to surprise your own children with Roominate this Christmas season, but you can always give it to them a little later. After all, it’s never the wrong time to inspire your child to build a space-shark room.

By Matthew Ariss

Order it online at

http://www.roominatetoy.com

Also, check out these sites if you so desire

http://thenextweb.com/shareables/2012/11/07/forget-apps-and-other-useless-startups-these-four-african-girls-have-created-a-pee-powered-generator/

http://www.wired.com/design/2012/11/urine-powered-generator/

http://venturebeat.com/2012/08/18/maykah-toys-for-girls/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/women-20/women-in-tech-stem-fields-_b_1582374.html

http://science.howstuffworks.com/innovation/inventions/10-things-that-women-invented.htm#page=1